danielle carey

Project 52: thirty-four

2012-01-30T20:40:00.003+10:00

I barely took any pictures this week, thus the somewhat half-hearted photo of my lunch as sole representative for week 34 of Project 52. This feels kind of appropriate. My week was full -- so full -- of good contact with good people, a pattern that's reoccurred throughout these first few weeks of 2012. It's been energising to reconnect with old friends outside of term-time, and to find new inroads into fresh friendships that promise good things in the future.

Queensland has been grey for days, grey and thick and damp and stifling. We've had more rain this January than we did last January -- the month of those fateful floods -- and everything is wet. The damp breeds with damp and creates a kind of breathy claustrophobia that makes me yearn for sun and air movement.

Then there was this weekend, and news upon news of intense grief reaching in and snatching loved ones away from their nests. First, friends of my grandparents and their loss of a grown child. Then, news that a woman who buried her little son only three months ago is now called upon to bury her husband, too. Finally, the incomprehensible report of the tragic accidental death of a five-year-old boy, the firstborn son of a couple we have known since before they were even together, let alone parents. The weight, the intensity, of that kind of grief seems like a heaviness impossible to bear. But that's what I've been praying, in the moments when my prayers make any sense at all.

So that is why having a good photo for my picture project this week doesn't seem that important, not in the scheme of things. And I wonder why I even care that it's too humid or that I have writing deadlines approaching or that I'm going to spend a day with a friend tomorrow, talking and laughing and watching silly movies. But this is life. There's happiness and hard work and silliness and mistakes and hopes -- and sometimes in the middle of it all, there is loss and there is sadness, even the secondhand kind that can only look from a distance at others' sorrows and grieve for their grief.

Breaking rules and making art:

2012-01-24T12:02:00.006+10:00

I think my nature as a rule-keeper was cemented at birth. In that first lusty swallow of earth's atmosphere, I became not only a firstborn child -- inheriting a bossy gene I've been trying to work out of my system ever since -- but also a Danielle. Danielle is the feminine form of Daniel, which in the Hebrew means 'God is my judge'. That's some serious motivation for having a strong conscience right there.

Most of the time, a strong conscience and a wholesome sense of right and wrong are a real blessing. Playing by the rules -- sticking to speed limits, not burning copies of DVDs, returning library books relatively on time, not mouthing off to those older than me -- has never been much of a challenge. On the other hand, I seem to have this crazy and generally subconscious need to create rules for my life.

As if the standards of godliness and human ethics and social conduct are not enough, I create unintentional mental lists of rules: rules for being a good daughter; rules for how to pray 'properly'; rules for being a fun aunt; rules for being a really truly writer; rules to put myself in a box and chase my own tail around. Then I lament when I fail to keep those rules. Then I laugh (or pull out my hair) when I realise that I made those rules up; they don't actually matter.

The thing is, rules are mostly great. When they are big -- like state and national laws -- they help life as a society function in healthier, smoother ways. When they are small -- like notes for a design brief or editorial guidelines -- they can actually foster creativity. Working within boundaries may stretch us in ways that total uninhibited freedom never could. If two people were both to offer me a blank sheet of paper and one instructed me to do whatever I want with it, while the other told me to show them something I care about, the second instruction is the one that would get my creative juices flowing. A little boundary can lead to big ideas.

All of which is my long and oddly deep segue into talking about something much more concrete: the fun I'm having with Keri Smith's Wreck This Journal. The staid little rule-keeper in me is very much relishing the challenge of being told to crack the spine of a book, to jump up and down on a book, to give it to someone else and let them do something destructive to it. Let me tell you, I have many self-made rules about the care and protection of books, and most of them involve decidedly anti-destructive behaviour. It's good to be reminded that it's all just paint and ink on a page and none of it will last forever anyway.

Balancing that out, the creative rule-lover in me -- the part that sees a boundary and leaps ahead to get all sorts of ideas on how to work within it -- is enjoying the sparse, simple instructions (in one sense, rules) of Wreck This Journal. They're rules which are open to so many different interpretations that they're not really rules at all. And that makes for fun creative experimentation.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Anonymous -- :D

Thelittlebluefishy -- sometimes it isn't even checking those items off a list that's encouraging, but the mere fact of starting on them and being in the process itself offers so much hope and inspiration. Good luck with your list!

Lauren -- I got them from Target. $2 a pack!

Project 52: thirty-three

2012-01-22T15:24:00.003+10:00

-- it's the little things.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Katie -- agreed! Although striking a balance is always my challenge. Often, if I start chores in the morning, I'll just keep on doing odd jobs all day because I've gotten into that Betty Homemaker zone and have trouble switching off and getting into other work. I think I figure I'm already hot and sweaty and my hair is falling in my face, so why not? But a little bit of everything really works so much better!

Un -- and I have you to thank for that ;). One day we'll opshop it up together once more.

Lauren -- let's plan an opshop crawl -- and garage saleing! I'm not sure if I can do this Saturday but we should do something SOON.

Sarah -- it's very rare that I'll ever get everything crossed off my to-do list in the one day. Then again, if I don't make a to-do list in the first place, I don't get anything done.

Staish -- yes! Photo walk!

Fish are jumpin' and the cotton is high:

2012-01-20T15:39:00.003+10:00

It's summertime, and the livin' is perhaps not quite as easy as Ira Gershwin made out. But it is full and it is good.

Remember my dreamy Summer to-do list? I've continued to add to it, on various little scraps of paper and other useful internet listmaking devices:

read and comment on my friends' blogs on a regular basis
write letters!
plan a really good daily menu
go garage saleing
spend some sunsets out on the Point
~~read Crossed by Ally Condie~~
continue working through Wreck This Journal
start reading Finish this Book
blog about them both!
~~write an end-of-year-newsletter (it didn't happen last year; boo!)~~
call my niece and nephew on the phone more
do chores in the mornings rather than in odd snatches here and there
~~look at Christmas lights!~~
~~go to a carols evening~~
~~watch a movie in the middle of the day~~
cook meals for my family
go on a photo walk with Staish (not sure if she knows this is happening :D)
~~bake peanut butter brownies and other ridiculously unhealthy things with flour and sugar and (preferably) chocolate~~
~~get my hands on a copy of Prized by Caragh O'Brien and READ IT~~
re-read the Hunger Games trilogy
go see the Look! exhibit at the State Library of Queensland
go see Matisse: Drawing Life at GOMA
go on an opshop crawl

Revisiting the list now, I'm amused by its randomness and the juxtaposition of things I feel are really important (like writing letters to far-off friends) close by things that really don't matter all that much (like watching a movie in the middle of the day, just because). I'm also surprised by how many of those little happy things were actually achieved in amongst all the fun and busyness of Christmas and New Year. Numbers 3, 5, 7, 12, 16, and 20, on the other hand, are all currently mid-process.

Of course, I had a more serious Summer to-do list written in my planner, too. It included words to the effect of WRITE THINGS AND SEND THEM PLACES DANIELLE OR ELSE, and while there has been ample opportunity to spend time with loved ones and accept social invitations and generally do nice things, in the between-times I've really been relishing the chance to apply seat-of-pants to chair and work on editing and polishing and refining and sending. Friends, it is ten million times nicer to return to a piece of work after an absence of a day or two rather than weeks or months. You don't waste all that brain and heart time finding your place in the work once more and stifling the little demon on your shoulder telling you that you're really rubbish at this and shouldn't you just go ahead and clean the microwave instead. Not that I'm not scared, of course; you who know me well know that being scared is one of my exceptional (yet very much unwanted) talents. But it's easier to push past the scared when you're actually getting work done rather than merely wishing you could get to it.

And another thing I'm learning: no matter how many words you've cut from the story, you can always cut more. It's like the loaves and fishes, only in reverse -- a miracle!

What's Summer been teaching you?

* * * * *

Conversations:

Un -- man definitely won that one... although it's wild that gets the attention so... who knows?

Lauren -- :D

Project 52: thirty-two

2012-01-16T22:56:00.001+10:00

-- man vs. wild.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- I LOVE this quote and I love the beautiful typography layout of the version you linked to. It's amazing!

Caitlin -- that is a brilliant quote! (PS. It's a pretty cute movie, too).

The secret life of a storyteller:

2012-01-14T10:20:00.007+10:00

Ira Glass was excellent.

Let me tell you about it, in a selection of jumbled paragraphs.

Some of you probably know that I generally avoid gigs because I really don't like the idea of celebrity -- this concept of a handful of chosen ones locked away in an untouchable bubble. Look, admire, lust, wish, but definitely do not touch. What I hate most about that stuff is that it takes away the humanness of the person and our interconnectedness as a bunch of people all doing life on this planet. Well, there was nothing pretentious or separatist about Ira Glass. He remained steadfastly away from the pedestal while singing the praises of story and the human elements behind the story. It's what I've always loved about This American Life; it steers away from the facts and gets to the faces instead -- which is very, very cool.

The show, Reinventing Radio, began with a discussion of how Glass & Co wanted to approach radio journalism from a different angle, getting well away from the sensationalised, emphasise-certain-words-for-dramatic-effect kind of broadcasting we all know and only half listen to. But it soon switched gears and we saw Ira the preacher (are we on first-name basis now, Mr. Glass? I feel presumptuous) deliver a sermon on the power of story. He was warm, friendly, and approachable. I expected the show to be fun but I didn't expect it to be quite so funny, as well as just a little bit heartbreaking at times. Above all, I felt that Ira Glass was genuine. The little crack in his voice at the crux of Scheherezade's adventures in Arabian Nights confirmed it: this guy really cares about story.

The show was obviously thoughtfully prepared, yet also casual enough to allow for a little audience participation. Glass even managed to throw the word 'bogan' into his monologue. He needs some pointers as to exact usage, but it was a feat no less.

Glass was generous with his knowledge, experience, and encouragement. As a writer, I was greedy for more information about storycraft, and only wish I'd been able to take notes. He was real about the fact that if you want to be good at something, you have to start by being bad at it. This attitude -- the idea that starting at bad can actually lead to better -- makes the reality of storytelling more possible and more powerful. Ira Glass is testament to his own brilliant advice. He doesn't have the world's coolest radio voice. In fact, he admits himself that it's "nasally". Neither does he deliver flawless orations without skips or bumps. When it comes to the insertion of gratuitous 'likes' into the middle of sentences, Ira Glass and I are, like, total soul mates. But this is what's so cool about him. He's a normal (though admittedly more awesome than average) guy doing something that he cares about, and doing it confidently and well. Good stories told well -- that's the appeal.

One final thing: it was hipster paradise at the Powerhouse. So many slim-fit checked shirts! So many girls in fifties dresses and pixie haircuts! It made Laura and I and our mums laugh, but it was also pretty cool to realise that this thing that you and like two of your other friends love is actually something that a whole bunch of people love and have been loving steadily for quite a while. Nice.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Un -- :)

Laura -- that was my pre-Ira full-of-excitement post. This is my post-Ira-post. Wow. I just confused myself. Thank you for an excellent evening!

Mothercare -- indeed!

Bloss -- oh, when you have faster internet, do try again. I just know you'll fall in love with the stories, as I have :). I continue to find his advice encouraging, too. I think so often we can get bogged down or frightened away from creative endeavour because we think we have to be gifted and brilliant right from the very beginning. It's good to be reminded that there is room to grow. Caring and practicing is the best starting place. Improvement can come from there. So encouraging! PS. <3

Oh my, it's Ira.

2012-01-12T10:57:00.003+10:00

It's no particular secret that I think geeks are cool. Fictional nerds who come to mind include Abed Nadir, Connor Temple, and Riley Poole, but real life nerds are even better. I love their passion and zeal, their single-mindedness, their at-times awkward dress sense, and the fact that they wore hipster specs before hipsters did.

One of my favourite real-life chic geeks is Ira Glass, journalist and storyteller extraordinaire as well as host of probably the world's greatest podcast, This American Life. Tonight, I get to hang out with him (okay, and about two hundred other people) while he talks about life on the radio, being creative, and all of that stuff. I'm even more excited that I get to share the experience with my mum as well as Laura and her mum. The only person missing from the equation -- and she deserves to be there more than all of us -- is Ruth, the lady responsible for introducing me to This American Life in all of its storytelling glory. In a devious twist of fate, she's out of the country while Ira is in the country, which makes me sad.

If you haven't heard of This American Life, you've been missing out. Here are a few favourite podcasts for you to sharpen your teeth on:

The Invention of Money
Fear of Sleep
Act V
Switched at Birth

Ira Glass also said this. It's worth a revisit.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Anon 1 -- I do have excellent sisters. I suspect you are one of them.

Anon 2 -- you are awesome. I suspect you are also one of my sisters.

Anon 3 -- I suspect you are anon 1.

Cara -- what did you think of Prized? I didn't enjoy it half as much as Birthmarked. Too girl-caught-in-the-middle-of-a-love-square, which just seemed cheesy. I did like the new sci-fi twists the story took, though. Also, do you pronouce Caragh (as in O'Brien) the way you pronounce Cara? A friend and I were discussing this very thing.

Hannah -- you can always replace the book element with something else you enjoyed -- favourite recipes or places to visit or holidays or whatnot :).

Samantha R -- me, too! It'll be so fun if I can get it operational -- even if the pictures don't come out all that great.

Katie -- oh, do do! I would love to see what sort of pictures you capture with it!

Project 52: thirty-one

2012-01-09T12:11:00.001+10:00

-- this, my friends, is a beautiful vintage Pentax ME Super,
a totally-out-of-the-blue gift from my sister, Lauren.
2012 project: see if I can get this baby up and running.
If not, it's just so pretty to look at.

Eleven in '11

2012-01-06T17:17:00.012+10:00

I have a little stash of things that I love with a love that is large in part because no one else knows about those things. However, most of the time I'm more of an unintentional reverse hipster: instead of loving something before it's cool, I love it long after people have stopped remembering it ever was cool. That's why I'm posting a best-of-2011 list now, even though everyone else was doing things like this in December. I make no apologies. I'm a late bloomer.

As per my usual favouritism policy, I won't go so far as to say this list is my Absolutely Positively Top Eleven. I hate choosing favourites and I'd invariably change my mind tomorrow if I went so far as to decree unimpeachable favouriteness about any of these (except maybe items #10 and #11). Therein is my caveat, and here is my list of eleven greats of 2011:

1. [book] Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli. This book didn't change my life and I could put it down between readings. But it's stayed with me because of its exquisite characterisation and beautiful writing. Stargirl is everything a YA book should be, and Jerry Spinelli is the man when it comes to fiction for younger readers.

2. [book] Birthmarked by Caragh O'Brien. After the 2010 Hunger Games binge, it was always going to be hard to find any YA dystopia that could stand proudly next to Katniss and crew. So far, nothing has come close, but Birthmarked was an excellent story. I felt it needed more editing, but the story was good enough to keep me reading in spite of those flaws.

3. [book] Telling the Truth by Frederick Buechner. There is not enough Buechner in my life -- in anyone's life. This little book was a beautiful, poetic look at the amazing storyness of the Gospel. I reviewed it here.

4. [album] Love & War & the Sea in Between Josh Garrels. Josh Garrels is my favourite new-to-me artist. His music is an incredible melding of exquisite poetry, haunting melodies, a whole bunch of genres that nevertheless makes sense, and a Christ-centric message. I wish I knew how to review music better because his stuff deserves it. Just go listen already.

5. [album] Rehab LeCrae. So I like hip-hop and rap now. Who knew? LeCrae's music is excellent, and the lyrics are soaked in God-truths. This album was a timely blessing for my brain in 2011.

6. [film] The King's Speech, directed by Tom Hooper. I love history and I love films about history. More than that, however, I love films about people. This one ticks all the boxes and was an immaculate period drama that deserves every award it received. Also, we all now love George VI more than we did before.

7. [film] The Help, directed by Tate Taylor. (The book was even better, but this is my cheaty way of recommending them both.) The Help reminded me of how quickly we can forget the breadth of the mistakes that have been made. The race clashes The Help documents were happening just fifteen years before I was born; this stuff isn't old news, and it's told with beautiful characterisation, beautiful setting, and excellent actors.

8. [blog] The Accidental Traveler. Kate Andre's blog was a new discovery for me in early 2011, and I've been so blessed and challenged by it. The internet needs more blogs like this -- humble, sincere, genuine expositions of life and faith and motherhood and mistakes. I love it.

9. [blog] Everyday Isa. I found Isa's blog only a few months ago, but it has quickly become a favourite read. Isa discusses God and creativity and being a girl, and she really knows how to make nice words.

10. [person] Abby by Lauren and James. This chubby parcel of pink and blonde landed on the planet in May, and the world has never been the same since. I never knew people so small could have so much personality. She's beautiful.

11. [person] Daniel by Sam and Andrea. For a little man who's only six months old, already he exudes serenity and is the best variation of the strong, silent type: the strong, silent, smiling type. I have never met a more content little person in all my life. I'm honoured to know them both.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Joy -- yes, that's Lauren's little one. Isn't she precious?

Sarah -- I agree. They're little enough to be cute and squishy, but big enough to have their own developing personalities :).

Lauren -- thanks!

Un -- haha!! GOPEE yourself!

Jessica -- yes. Tongue was firmly in cheek, with a little happy sarcasm sprinkled on.

Hannah -- you are sweet! Thank you, on both counts!

Samantha R -- thanks for your sweet comments on my pics :).

Project 52: thirty

2012-01-05T14:35:00.003+10:00

Because nothing says New Year's Eve like a chubby Australian baby sitting on a picnic rug eating sunscreen, am I right?

Project 52: twenty-nine

2012-01-05T14:24:00.002+10:00

Christmas dinner in the Carey household.

(I entirely forgot about uploading any of my Project 52 pictures, so here they are now, belatedly)

* * * * *

Conversations:

Maddy -- and the same to you! Yes, it was definitely a lovely time with everyone -- so much laughing!

Carla and Alastair -- you are so right. On an episode of Gilmore Girls last night, Luke said something about how Lorelai was happy but she still seemed a bit sad. "Haven't you ever been around a woman?" was Lorelai's reply. I think growing up is kind of similar.

Katie -- as I hope for you :).

Thelittlebluefishy -- and the same to you! Your profile pic is super cute :).

Staish -- let's understand more, together!

Brenda -- if we could only shift the end of the year to a time less busy than the end of the year! ;)

Jessica -- yay! I'm glad it got to you safely.

Un -- :)

Ready:

2012-01-03T16:50:00.008+10:00

When I was in my early teens, a so much more grown up young woman friend of mine told me how she would meet each new year: at her little writing desk, with candles all around her, scribbling down her reflections on the end of the annum. It sounded amazing, and is probably a large part of the reason I want to get all reflective whenever the year draws to a close.

But new years around here invariably flip over amid a buzz of busyness, leaving little time for journal-scribbling, candlelighting, or serious pondering. It's inconsiderate, really; oughtn't a new year make its entrance at a less busy time than, you know, the end of the year? Nevertheless, even though I sometimes crave a stop-and-pause, I'd rather be living life at the end of the year than just reflecting on it.

Sometimes a new year feels more lonely than anything else. I think I'm an optimist because I seem to expect the best and then get disappointed when my dreams don't come true. And sometimes, the big moments remind me of what's missing from my life, rather than what's already there. This new year, however, there was no room for loneliness or loss. Instead, I was surrounded by my closest people -- my parents, my littlest brother, my sisters, and their adorable precious children.

All of us, the baby families branching off from the parent family, sat around for a big barbecue dinner together. We pulled crackers and read bad jokes and made glo-stick bracelets and haloes, even though the two brothers-in-law swore they wouldn't go out with us if we wore them, even though we swore we wouldn't take them off. The girls won, and the guys accompanied the glowing girls and the children down the hill where we met with hundreds of other locals for fireworks at 9pm. Grammy stayed home to mind the babies, who were sleeping, and Amelia promised she would 'remember all the colours to tell Grammy.'

Home again, the children went to bed and the guys went out for some late-night fishing, leaving my sisters and my parents and me. For just those few hours, and with the exception of my brother Nick in WA, it was like old times again before there were any weddings or babies or people living all over Australia. I wouldn't go back -- I don't think any of us would -- but it was special to be in that place for one evening, and we sat and ate chocolates and watched a movie together and rushed outside when midnight hit, shouting happiness in our own chilled way.

It was a good start to 2012, one that left me more satisfied and less introspective than some new years. I don't have any great conclusions drawn from the months of 2011, only that, as I told friends in my Christmas newsletter, it felt like a settled year, particularly externally. Internally, there is always more to learn. 2011 was the first year I felt genuinely worried about grown up things like financial stability and making preparations for the future. Of course, I've thought about those things a lot, but last year was the first time I really felt them lean toward me in a menacing way. 2011 was also the year I discovered not one but several grey hairs. Do these two events go hand-in-hand? Perhaps.

Life highlights life, it seems, and brings to light everything we are as well as everything we're not. Living with my family once again brought into sharp focus my at times life-sucking sense of insecurity and my failures to truly love as Christ teaches us to love. While I've heard forever that we must find our worth and our identity in Christ, I've never really understood what that meant. "That's just a pretty phrase and no one will explain to me how to do that!!" sums it up, basically. But over the past few months I've been mulling over this whole identity thing, and realising it goes way, way back to creation. Our worth -- my worth, your worth -- cannot stem from what we do or how we act, what we have or what we make, whether we are creative or fabulous or funny or sweet or loving or saintly or brave. Rather, this worth is something quite apart from us, imbued because we are made by a great God who saw what He'd done and called it very good. Nothing we do changes that. It's all about Him.

So this year I haven't made resolutions as such. I'm just praying that I'll understand this more and live it out more. I desire holy confidence and bold love, fuelled by God and in imitation of Christ.

Welcome, 2012. We're ready for you.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Anonymous -- I'm glad it was an encouragement :).

Shaina -- thank you so much for your kind comment! It made my heart leap to get a comment from the lady whose blog inspired this whole Project 52 journey!

Joy -- thank you so much! And all the same back to you :).

Chantel -- yay!! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! And do let me know if you give those cookies a try. xx

Sarah -- happy new year to you, too!

Love came down:

2011-12-24T22:26:00.002+10:00

I still remember the small-girl feeling of deep contentment that would settle low in my stomach during the hazy drive home from the grandparents’ house at the end of Christmas Day. I’d fall half-asleep with a handful of gifts clutched in my lap, my belly full of good things and my memory warmed by the hugs and happy conversation of cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents. The black of night wrapped around the car like a blanket, and I was already anticipating waking on Boxing Day to an entire day of remembering, playing with new treasures, and eating good leftovers. But a part of me was always scared that I wouldn’t get to see that tomorrow, that all of today’s happiness would be cut short. So before I let myself sleep, I’d wrap my arms around myself and pray, ‘Not tonight please, Jesus.’ (read more)

It's Christmas Eve, and the rest of my family -- including my sister, brother-in-law, and wee baby niece -- are all making their way to their respective beds. For you, I wish peace and joy in the rememberance of the greatest Gift. Love to you.

(I hope I can sleep!)

* * * * *

Conversations:

Brenda -- they really are awesome!

Un -- the phone convo with you definitely helped inspire me to post -- and to make Scandinavian almond bars!

Cara -- my sister Lauren pointed out a link to the recipe right here. Hope you saw it before the need for them passed!

Lauren -- nail painting? check! :)

Littlebluefishy -- aw, so glad you like the pictures :). And yes, those pencils are so cool! Looking forward to eating some of those almond bars tomorrow. Merry Christmas!

Katie -- and I hope just the same for you -- with pictures!

Hannah -- hooray!!! I'll look forward to checking out your blog. So glad you're in blogland :). xxx

The goose is getting fat:

2011-12-22T21:33:00.004+10:00

My little brother has been counting down to Christmas day for many weeks. My mother and I wore out of ways to explain to him just how far away Christmas actually was, so at the start of November we drew up a countdown calendar with a red bauble for him to colour in each night before bed. It was the perfect way for him to visualise Christmas drawing near. Only eventually he decided that the process was "too slowed down" (his own words) and took to surreptitiously colouring in two or three baubles when no one was looking -- then making the grand announcement that Christmas was so much closer. If only that's how it worked.

Now, however, Christmas really is almost here. In fact, I kind of think it already is here. It's not just the day; it's this whole busy happy bustly jolly season. Tain is loving it, and (though sometimes afflicted with a curious emotional paralysis as well as occasionally being startled by the breach between expectations and actuality), I am too.

Around here, Christmas is happening...

... in the mailbox. It's old-fashioned and it's dying off and it's probably even a little bit dorky, but I just love family Christmas letters and the cards they are tucked into. I didn't write one myself last year, and I missed it a lot. This year, I pushed aside the thought that I'm a grandmother before my time, and wrote my little newsletter (rather in a hurry, and completely forgetting all the funny little-brother anecdotes I was going to include). It felt nice to reconnect with people I love, even if only by proxy and on paper.

Outgoing mail is exciting, but incoming mail is even more so -- perhaps because of the delicious unpredictability of it, and the knowledge that someone, somewhere, has taken time out of their own busy life to send something tangible. This week's mail has brought so many happy connections, including a parcel from a precious blog reader and friend from the days of Whatsoever Magazine. You guys, this lovely lady sent me Penguin paperback pencils, which just made my day! I just want to line them up next to the pretty Penguin novels and stare at their awesome design. Along with the gorgeous box of pencils, there was also a sweet, girly journal and the cutest little birdy card-holder, as well as the much needed reminder to keep calm and write something -- all tied up in a chirpy polka-dot ribbon. I'm tempted to write cheesy things about the package; the generosity and thought so obviously sown into this gift genuinely touched my heart.

... in the kitchen. This year, we get to spread the Christmas dinner preparation between three kitchens -- my mum's, my sister Lauren's, and mine. We all get to be part of the fun, and it makes the job so much more manageable, too. I'm making a potato bake and a black forest trifle, a recipe which has gone through a series of metamorphoses from tiramisu into something quite different. Today, I spent several hot and floury hours baking biscuits for post-Christmas guests. My sister Andrea was whipping up some Scandinavian Almond Bars, and they sounded so good that I totally copied her.

... in the neighbourhood. There are lights in the streets and carols playing in the supermarkets, and the gospel is more tangible and more present for many people than at any other time in their year. There is commercialism, yes, and cash, and clamour, too, but there is also Christ. Without Him, there wouldn't be any of this.

I'm grateful there's a Saviour, and that He knows what it's like to be human.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Un -- :)

Laura Elizabeth -- uh, you nailed it! I have grown to love the Professor and realised Laurie wasn't right for Jo, but Laurie and Amy? I still haven't grown quite used to that! (I'm glad you rewatched; it's a beautiful movie).

Carla and Alastair -- yes! Christmas sparkles foreverrrr!

Lauren -- thankee :)

Samantha R -- thank you! xx

Project 52: twenty-eight

2011-12-17T15:57:00.002+10:00

-- sparkle.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- you are not alone. Other people found it hard to tell what the picture was actually of. It was a fun discovery on a rainy day!

Joy -- hooray! I'm so glad you've enjoyed the blog. It'll be fun to keep in touch with one another this way.

Mothercare -- thanks :)

Jessica -- thank you!

Un -- Cheers :)

Samantha R -- aw, thanks!

Project 52: twenty-seven

2011-12-13T22:48:00.004+10:00

-- reflections (click for larger).

* * * * *

Conversations:

Samantha R -- sometimes I wonder if people will get tired of me posting Abby pictures, but she's just so cute I can't help sharing!

Mothercare -- over the mysteries of the female mind, there is drawn a veil best left undisturbed.

Bek Axe -- OH NO! You had a similar experience?? Awkward pre-teen hugs of condolence for you!

Lauren -- you know me too well. :)

Staish -- now I really want to write a book (or a script) titled My Devastating Real Life. Holiday project!!

Katie -- most of my life seems to end up in stories somehow, so maybe one day... :D

Holy rollers:

2011-12-09T22:47:00.006+10:00

I don't even know why (it was the early nineties, okay?), but for some reason my youth group was meeting at the roller rink that Friday night. I was maybe fourteen -- old enough to suspect I was bad at rollerskating, young enough not to care that much.

I've never been good at wheels, or at sports in general. Gracious, I've never been good at having feet. Nevertheless, I strapped on the skates and juddered out on the massive rink and into the hordes of teenagers.

It was all happy-awkward-lack-of-coordination-amongst-the-masses at first. I can't even remember seeing anyone I know. Then the disco lights flared up and the music started pumping, and suddenly everyone was skating wildly around the circumference of the rink. I was swept up into the whirlpool and dragged along far faster than my capabilities should have allowed. Then came the most terrifying part -- when the horn blared and the lights flashed, we were all supposed to change direction and start skating the opposite way.

Well hardly. Once I was zooming along like that, there was no stopping me and absolutely no changing direction. But of course, the tide turned anyway, and soon it was just a wave of teenagers rolling towards me. I put out my hands in a desperate, useless attempt to grab hold of something... and instead collided head-on with a random guy -- a random guy. You will remember I was about fourteen years old.

Well then I was falling, falling to the ground and about to be trampled by roller demons, but I somehow found myself on my knees, clutching at his shirt like my life depended on it (apparenly it did), just hanging on. And he was staring down, his eyes huge, looking at me as though I was E.T. or something. Meanwhile, everyone else just kept rolling on by.

If my life was a movie, he would've laughed and I would've been all clumsily goofy and adorable, and we'd probably have three kids by now. But it was real life -- my devastating real life -- and we did not fall in love. In fact, I hardly remember anything about him except his shirt (my lifeline), his terrified look -- and of course I remember that my teen spirit died a little bit that day.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Brenda -- you're so right that the best books move with us as we grow and change. As CS Lewis said, 'a children's story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children's story in the slightest.

Bethany -- she's definitely proud of her little grin -- she's started posing for photos!

Un -- I think about the upcoming visit every day!

Rebecca Simon -- squishable babies are the most fun! Ooh, keep us posted about dates and locations when you come up here. Would be so nice to catch up -- and meet your wee one!

Lauren -- thanks for sharing her with us :). (and you are definitely like Beth)

Cara -- congratulations on your wee nephew's toothy! It gives them such an extra swoosh of cuteness :).

Bloss -- ooh, so lovely to get a comment from you! <3 You are like Beth -- plus you have the grace of Meg, too. And yes, Professor Bhaer definitely makes oranges into something truly romantic. " Our lives, the works of His hands..." So true. I'm glad He's there. Growing up would be awfully tricky without him.

Daybook #12

2011-12-08T22:33:00.003+10:00

Outside my window it's been rainy and grey and wet and green and... so not summery. Dare I admit that I've been loving it?

I have been listening to not so much. I wonder why?

I have been wearing... here I confess: pyjamas. Yes, today I took a sickie and wore pyjamas.

I am thankful that school is over for the year; that a scary thing didn't eventuate; for little people.

I am pondering the idea of making a living from art, whether it's even possible in the current financial climate, and how scary it is to dive back into worlds you've been absent from.

I am reading, finally, the first of the delicious Penguin paperbacks I won. You will hear more about this.

I am creating plans for the new year, a Christmas newsletter, and a stream of half-ideas which I hope find their way to Somewhere Useful.

I am looking forward to spending time with my babies! After Christmas both my sisters and all my nieces and nephews will be here in the one place with me, my parents, and my little brother. We we we we so excited!

A picture-thought I'm sharing is her Toothy Highness, Abby Victoria. Look at her cheeks! Look at her biceps! Look at her pearlies!

* * * * *

Conversations:

Meg ;) -- <3 <3 <3

BushMaid -- I'm glad you enjoyed them :).

Katie -- keep me posted on whether Nancy Drew stands the test of time! Sometimes I'm scared to approach books I loved in childhood because occasionally they don't impact me the same way, or I discover they're not brilliant like I thought they were. Now I want to re-read Anne of Green Gables. I've only read it, oh, about fifteen times. But it's been a few years...

Laura Elizabeth -- once I've seen the movie of something, I usually find it impossible to make myself read the book. I'm reading a book at the moment and we have the movie nearby, but I'm resisting the urge because if I watch that movie, I WILL NOT finish the book. It's terrible! Ah, I'm glad you're going to watch Little Women again. Maybe you, too, will become more reconciled to the professor this time round.

Staish -- your blog comments always sound so creative and poetic, and occasionally I don't know how to reply. I love you!

Emily -- I like that! Sometimes I feel like Jo is the every-girl, which can sometimes make her seem like the nothing-girl. It's nice to know there are girls who've identified better with others of the March sisters. PS. I'm so glad you dropped by to leave a comment! x

Rebecca Simon -- :')

Carla -- thank you, sweet one! I loved the Christmas mail you sent! xx

Rach da Axe -- Growing up isn't always easy, but it is good. xx

Bethany -- we will both love and resonate with Jo forever, I am sure.

Eweight -- it's definitely that time of the year. I hope you get the chance to rewatch and enjoy. xx

Little Women, and growing up.

2011-12-07T11:58:00.006+10:00

When I think of Christmas movies, Little Women is one of the first that comes to mind. I know it's not strictly a Christmas film, but many of its major moments are nestled within Christmas celebrations; also, there is snow and carols and wintryness, all of which lends to the Christmas feel, even if it isn't a strictly antipodean interpretation of the season.

I watched it again on Monday afternoon with my mum and little brother, and I was amazed by how much power this film has to pull me back into my childhood. It's like a massive rush of memories. Not only can I quote virtually every line, but I recall all the thoughts and feelings and emotions this film and the book (which I have read at least a dozen times) have ever evoked.

I remember where I was when I started reading Little Women that first time, and I also remember who I was. I remember recognising my graceful sister Andrea in Meg, my sweet sister Lauren in Beth. My brother Nick -- though he never liked the comparison -- was definitely Amy, hilarious and quirky and confident and impetuous (and a little dissatisfied with his nose). I remember feeling that first spark of kinship with Jo, wanting to be great and do great things but being hampered by an abundance of flaws. We share so many of the same dreams, Jo and I, and so many of the same failings -- even down to the too-large hands and a hatred of posh parties. Of course, I never turned down the proposal of a creative, handsome neighbour who was once my best friend. But I'll forgive Jo that.

Actually, from that point on, the film version of Little Women always broke my heart a little. As a teenager, I wanted to stop the movie halfway through, at the Christmas scene when Father comes home from the war and though you know John Brooke is going to steal Meg away, he hasn't actually done it yet. I wanted it to stop before Laurie and Jo become something more than best friends and then (just as quickly) something infinitely less. I wanted it to stop before Beth dies and Laurie becomes a ratbag with horrible facial hair and Jo realises that she doesn't fit in anywhere and she probably never will. The second half always seemed to me to be too sober, too sad.

This time, however, I found my heart resonating more with that second half of the film. Suddenly it seemed to me to be incredibly honest. Yes, my childhood and teen years were very much like the early half of Little Women -- full of adventures and creativity and small sorrows and large joys -- but being a grown-up is so much more like the second half. People change and friendships dissolve. Life turns out differently than you expected.

You know, I always resented Professor Bhaer because he wasn't Laurie. This time round, I realised Professor Bhaer was right for Jo at the right time. She could have married Laurie and, though she refused to believe so, they could have actually been happy together. After all, she did love him; she just didn't understand that there are all different kinds of love, and she was looking for something in words she'd recognise, words she'd write herself to make the perfect happy ending. I think it took her several more years of life and learning to realise that love is not as simple as the fairytales make out, and yet in other ways it's simpler. Professor Bhaer wasn't the second choice; he was Jo's first choice, made once she knew how to recognise real love.

I used to think that the first half of Little Women is all joy, and the second half is all sorrow and a mature sort of resignation to dreams unfulfilled. Yet the second half of Little Women is the portion where the dreams actually do come true. Meg becomes the little wife and mother she was always in training for. Amy travels to Europe and marries the rich fellow she once imagined. And Jo's story and her heart both find a safe haven. But in amongst all the dreams-come-true are the dreams shattered; grief walks with the dreams, hand in hand.

This time, I finally understood that. Being a kid was super; life was chock full of joy. Being an adult is different. There is just as much joy, but it's of a deeper kind -- and it's woven in with the sorrow, too.

Sometimes you just have to look harder to see.

[image]

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- you rescued my post from a commentless death, bravo! I'm so glad you're loving the celebrations this year. I'm a big fan of celebrationishness. Tell your dad the blogging world is waiting with hald breath.

Project 52: twenty-six

2011-12-05T21:56:00.003+10:00

-- hello, Christmas!

* * * * *

Conversations:

Katie -- I usually run from discussing anything slightly controversial on my blog, but it's a great exercise for articulating passionate topics while trying to steer clear of purely emotive arguments. And as you said, it feels more practical than signing an email petition.

Lauren -- haha! I'd be tongue-tied if ever I came face to face with a PM (current or former). Remember George Fitzgarden? ;)

Laura Elizabeth -- anxiously awaiting hair pictures and updates!! How does it feel to be so hair-light? PS. From what I know, they changed the title to Good Christian Belles in the US, but we Australians are obviously more edgy ;).

Marie -- :)

Rebecca Simon -- that's the frustrating thing, isn't it? Those who rant and rave and basically throw public tantrums don't do anything for their cause, but people who graciously defend their point of view definitely deserve respect.

Daniel S -- thanks for your comment; was good to hear from you! I am still searching to find the middle ground on the choice argument. On the one hand, I think it is impossible to demand that people live according to Christian morality when they don't worship or respect the God who crafted that morality (for example, if Australia somehow became a Muslim state, Christians would resent being compelled to follow Islamic law). However, I have heard just as compelling argument that if we truly love people, then we will only desire the best for them, and if we are Christians, we obviously believe that best is God's standard for society and family.

Anonymous -- thanks for pointing out the typo, anon. I fixed it -- just for you.

Harriet Coombe wrote: Just wanted to let you know that the media (of which I am unfortunately a part!) has got the immunisation story wrong. The media has been deliberately omitting the fact that if you are a conscientious objector (and actually sign a form to say you are) you will still get the family tax benefit. This is good to know, Harri! Thanks for sharing this info. I included it here so that others may benefit from your insight.

Meaghan -- I like you.

Freedoms, rights, and television shows with naughty words in the title:

2011-12-01T14:31:00.005+10:00

Like (I suspect) many Christians, I was annoyed and a bit disgusted when Channel 7 started showing commercials for an upcoming program, Good Christian B*tches. There's not much that isn't offensive about that title or the concept behind the show. However, when I received an email invitation to sign a petition for the program's removal, I declined. My Dad put it most succinctly: "No one has to watch the program. If they find it offensive, they should turn the TV off."

He's right on a number of levels. First, the goal of television networks is not to keep religious groups happy; it is to establish a wide viewership and make money. It shouldn't surprise any of us when networks promote programs they believe will be sensational, juicy, or offensive. What's more, creating hype around a show (whether it's negative or positive) seems only to generate more interest in the program. Think what the disappearance of Charlie Sheen did for the (utterly stupid and degrading) sitcom Two and a Half Men. People who had never watched the show in the past tuned in to see what kind of a job Ashton Kutcher did of replacing the ticking time bomb that is Charlie Sheen.

Secondly, freedom of choice and freedom of speech are key elements of any democratic society. This freedom translates into the freedom to create programs that some may find offensive, as well as the freedom to show these programs. However, it also gives us the freedom not to watch them.

It is when that choice is removed that we should take offense.

Consider the current debates surrounding hot-button topics like abortion and gay marriage. While we may all possess freedom to argue for or fight against constitutional changes, as Christians we should probably stop being shocked when a secular government makes non-Christian choices. The focus of our government at the moment is on individual rights -- like the right of a woman to determine whether she will keep her unborn child or the right of a homosexual couple to marry and receive the same support as a heterosexual couple.

Both of these concepts are areas which Christians have typically taken a stand against, appealing to the government on grounds entrenched firmly in Christian doctrine and ethics. If the government does not subscribe to a similar set of doctrine and ethics, these will likely be pleas falling on deaf ears. However, here is my beef: if the government is going to promote freedom of choice and the rights of individuals, how can they fight for the rights of some groups and inhibit the rights of others? I'm referring in particular to the new move to remove family benefits from parents who have not immunised their kids. Regardless of how you feel about the pros and cons of immunisation, this is a serious blow to the rights and freedoms espoused by democracy. While not outwardly depriving parents of their right to choose immunisation or no, it is, nevertheless, a form of bullying. You may choose option A or B, the government is saying, but if you choose B, we are going to make life more difficult for you.

This is not only undemocractic, but it is illogical. A democratic government cannot fight for the rights of some without upholding the rights of all. Where's the consistency?

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- HAVE YOU CUT YOUR HAIR?? Do not leave me hanging on this!

Samantha R -- welcome back to the world! ;) We've missed you!

Cara -- it was fun, not at all serious. I recommend you check out PluggedIn.Com for any potential problems with the movie; they're always my go-to for appropriateness :). Do let's meet halfway in Italy! I really haven't travelled much (I'm certain New Zealand scarcely counts as "outside Australia").

Lauren -- rasesco!! Sounds like reggae music crossed with baroque; that's my interpretation of what rasesco might mean :).

Katie -- the internet is definitely the place to meet excellent friends :).

Bek Axe -- you would have loved tattooed Twilight guy, I'm sure.

A blogger date with Laura:

2011-11-29T21:58:00.008+10:00

After the happy success of our first ever meet-up (success mainly being, Laura pointed out, that I did not prove to be a fifty-year-old man masquerading as a slightly nerdish blogging lady), last Wednesday was high time for Laura and I to hang out again. We met at our halfway point (I like to think of it as Asia-in-Brisbane) in order to see The Three Musketeers, eat lunch, and chat.

I'd already seen The Three Musketeers and had thought it was merely okay. This time -- perhaps both because I knew what to expect and because I wasn't expecting something else entirely (as I was the first time round) -- I really enjoyed it. A rollicking adventure, long-haired men wielding swords, entirely anachronistic air travel technology... what's not to love? Also there was a rather cute romance between the adorably goofy king of France and his sweet queen, plus a 'hey it's that guy!' moment with the great Craig from Doctor Who. And the soundtrack is beautiful; it's gone straight onto my iTunes wishlist.

The movie, however, was just one part of our happy hangout. We were also somehow imbued with amazing new friend attraction skills that day. While Laura was elsewhere, a burly tattooed guy outside the cinemas struck up a conversation with me about movies, and when I asked what he was going to see, he said gruffly, 'That Twilight thing.'
'A bit of a romance lover, hey?' I asked.
He looked surprised. 'Is that what it is?' and he grinned -- possibly embarrassed?

In the ticket queue, we fell into conversation with a grandmotherly type who was seeing the latest Twilight installment -- for the second time. We were suddenly glad we hadn't let loose any Twilight snark because she was a rabid fan -- a true zealot. She spent the entire queue time defending her choice -- and the choice of everyone outside the typical demographic of sixteen-year-old-girls -- to love vampires. She was definitely entertaining.

Then as we hit the food court, a strange small girl came up and attached herself to us -- I mean literally attached. She grabbed hold of my hand and began walking along with us, occasionally turning to stare at me with somewhat unsettling seriousness. We finally delivered her to her (possible) parents, but not before we had broken away once and she had joined us again. I don't know what was in the air that day.

In spite of our random encounters with strangers, we also found lots of time to talk. We covered a bunch of kindred topics, ranging from books to movies, from 3:10 to Yuma to Doctor Who, from blogging to Shakespeare, from study to church, from the excellence of our mums to the geeky chic that is Ira Glass. It was so much fun that I basically forgot I was supposed to be writing an essay, and I only yanked myself out of the cafe chair at the latest possible minute. Thank you, happy little world of blogging, for introducing me to such a lovely new friend!

PS. Laura has written about our blogging date -- or, to use her cool neologism, blate -- over at her blog. I made sure I wrote my post before reading hers, just because it's fun to see how two people record the same event.

PPS. Please note Laura's beautiful long hair. I'm somewhat jealous.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Jessica -- I imagine I might go back someday because ultimately I like the idea of facebook; I just don't like how I use it. So I guess I won't be waiting for facebook to change. I'll be waiting for me to change before I head back. Right now I'm appreciating the freedom of this boundary :).

Thelittlebluefishy -- Hey there! I love meeting new blog peeps (also, your username is just adorable). I know what you mean; facebook is definitely one of the best ways to keep in touch with overseas friends. I think that's why it was such a big deal for me to leave. I miss that! But you're right; sometimes it can feel like such a time-sucker.

Laura Elizabeth -- that's absolutely what I miss most about facebook, too: those little everyday things (I love reading status updates! Probably why I like twitter so much). And here's a confession: I tracked you down on facebook! Of course, such a course of action is now irrelevant to me. Lucky we have email (and texts and blogging and livejournal...). PS. Yes! I did make the little cottage. Only now I want to smash it and let everybody eat bits of it, and it's supposed to hold out till Christmas!

Rebecca Simon -- just do what you feel is best for you, your communication, your life, and your friendships. Facebook is an awesome tool and a magical land of communicationly joy. I'm just not that great at it :).

Katie -- that's my biggest complaint. Facebook isn't the problem; my laziness is. It's too easy for me to observe without interacting. But I love that facebook turns everyday friends into internet ones, and vice versa. It's such an easy way to communicate info bites.

Meaghan -- thank you for getting my dorky sense of humour. I love you!

Oh, facebook.

2011-11-28T12:15:00.005+10:00

Two months ago I decided to switch off facebook. In all honesty, I thought it'd been longer than that. It feels longer. But it's been an interesting experiment, and one I've really enjoyed. I haven't noticed productivity levels increase in incredible proportions. I haven't evolved into an internet hippie (tumblr, twitter, blogging, livejournal... it's all still there). But I do feel simultaneously more connected and less connected to my friends.

If that confuses you, don't worry. I'm confused, too.

What I'm possibly learning from all this is that being away from facebook cuts me out of the little everyday odds and ends of my friends' lives. I miss lurking my friends' pictures. I miss knowing who is dating who (whom?). I miss getting invitations to events like barbecues and parties and church things and whatnot (because everybody is totally on facebook right and so why would we email or text or GASP send a paper invitation?). I miss watching hilarious comment conversations swing back and forth. Basically, I miss eavesdropping on my friends' lives.

On the other hand, even though I've been pathetic at emailing (and visiting and calling and letter-writing and texting), what little communication there is has been of a higher quality. It's like my friend-scope has narrowed. I see less, but I get to see it in more detail. I know who my closest friends are because they're the ones I contact outside of facebook. And to tell you the truth, I'm realising I don't need four hundred friends. My immediate and extended family, my little handful of best girlfriends, my buddies, and my long-distance friends whom I treasure: these are enough-and-more for me.

It doesn't mean I don't sometimes wish I was back on facebook. It's fun being in the loop! And I will probably be back looping it up again someday. But not just yet. Last week I felt my resolve slipping. I'd made contact with some friends from uni and they suggested keeping in touch via facebook. I took a great photography class and the instructor said there was a closed facebook group only open to workshop participants. I got scared that people would forget I exist if I'm not right up in their face(book)s. But then my friend Carla posted this and it reminded me all over again why sometimes it's good to do without, even if only for a season.

The end (for now).

Oh, and I didn't have any pictures of facebook laying around my computer, so I took this. That's my face, with a book. Har har you see what I did there? I'm obviously so funny.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Un -- I've had a hard enough time keeping up with my own socialness! I think I did so much last week, though, that this week is going to be very quiet by comparison.

Lauren -- hahaha! You little lurker. I promise there will be more pictures soon.

Project 52: twenty-five

2011-11-27T12:17:00.003+10:00

-- happy candy-covered gingerbread houses!

PS. Sorry I think I fell off the world and it's taken me six days to clamber back on and oh my almost-holidays can be quite exhausting I had no idea but I do have things to blog to you all about etcetera etcetera.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- YES! That is a brilliant idea; I'll work my way through my holiday to-do list. And I still have pictures from our blogging date/blate to post!

Lauren -- done. There WILL BE PICTURES.

Katie -- I agree; it's fun to see how others view the world through their own lenses :).

Un -- yes, her teeth are so adorable! Dad said last night, "They suit her" :).

Carla -- I haven't met your baby girl, so we're even in our sadness :(.

Cara -- yay for holidays!

Samantha R -- looks like pictures are everyone's favourite :).

Rach da Axe -- dude, CONGRATS on being finished for the year. Isn't it such a great feeling?

Done.

2011-11-21T16:34:00.004+10:00

-- well, virtually done, and I feel as happy as my precious little niece looks. Also, allow me to digress for a moment and point out those two teeny baby teeth. I defy you to show me anything cuter.

So yes, uni for the year is basically finished. I say basically because I do have one more essay due in a fortnight, but it's not too long and (I hope) not too difficult, and all the really big papers and deadlines were done and dusted on Friday. It's a nice feeling, and you can tell I've turned my self-editor off for the holidays (or a few days, at least) because there were four 'ands' in that last sentence alone and I'm leaving them there.

That's (almost) that, and my self-imposed short&sweet blog pseudo-hiatus is over, leaving me free to post as much as I want. Of course -- because there's always an of-course -- I now have blogging stage fright and can't remember all the marvellous things I thought I really positively had to tell you.

So while I find my feet again, the floor is yours, friends. What should I chat about? What do you want to know? What do you want to see pictures of? This is my little wooden chest of letters to you all; feel free to demand posts on anything you like.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Mothercare -- we really do. There are some pretty cool spots around here.

Un -- we'll have to go there!

Lauren -- that's one of the better ones; it was fun to learn more about my camera.

Samantha R -- it requires more forethought than more spontaneous snapshots, doesn't it? Plus you need your tripod handy and all that jazz.

Project 52: twenty-four

2011-11-20T21:47:00.002+10:00

-- night shoot, Wellington Point jetty (click for larger).

The mystic portal (of writing opportunities) awaits:

2011-11-14T17:14:00.004+10:00

This afternoon, I got an email from a friend-of-a-friend who is newly free from the shackles of highschool and is looking to develop her craft and expand her exposure to good writing opportunities. Some of you are at a similar stage in your own writing journey, so I thought I'd share with you a few avenues you can venture down and explore, particularly if you are somewhat new to the game.

Hunting out the opportunities and resources that are right for you can provide awesome experience for you to grow and develop your craft. Entering competitions and submitting your work to a variety of different publications and media is an excellent way to mature as a writer. Writing to strict guidelines will really hone your work, help you develop your voice, and teach you that boundaries don't always stand in the way of creative freedom.

One of the best resources for a writer of any level is a membership with your state writers' centre. State writers' centres stand apart from other writerly educational environments (like, say, online workshop businesses) in that they are just as dedicated to the development of craft -- or more so -- as they are to actually running a business. Many of them offer student or concession memberships, and most memberships include access to a print or emailed newsletter. This can provide you with regularly-updated information on a whole array of writing opportunites, contests, and workshops, as well as some good meaty articles. Check out Queensland Writers' Centre (which I love because I know and appreciate it) as a good jumping-off point.

The Australian Writers' Marketplace is like the bible of national writing opportunities. It's a fat book bursting with brief submission guidelines and details for hundreds (thousands?) of periodicals, newspapers, and webzines. It also has a section listing national competitions and entry guidelines (or where to go to find them), as well as information on writers' centres and educational opportunities. It's a hefty book and a bit of an investment, but most libraries will carry a copy (request they get it in!) or put it on your Christmas wishlist. You could really go crazy with this one.

Podcasts are a great way to learn and be inspired without having to fork out dough or commit to a six- or twelve-month course. Currently I'm really enjoying The Sydney Writers' Centre podcast. I've had fun finding some great resources on iTunesU as well. Search the iTunes store and see what you can discover. There are lectures online by great professors at such excellent universities as Yale and Harvard -- all for free, too.

Sign up to mailing lists at your local library, your state library, and your favourite bookstore. Libraries are (obviously) passionate about literacy and this often carries through into great literary and literary education events. Book talks with authors are, on their own, a fascinating way to get inspired and learn from people who have already made it. What's more, attending events like author talks can introduce you to other local writers (and sometimes even publishers), all of whom you can learn from and network with. Writing is a lonely craft; it's nice to have friends.

Finally, I must toot a horn for Katie's frequently-updated list of writing opportunities. Be sure to check it out -- then go write something.

Project 52: twenty-three

2011-11-14T15:05:00.001+10:00

-- agapanthus (plural or singular? I don't know!), bursting from its bud.

[lately] life in instagrams II

2011-11-11T21:47:00.003+10:00

1. biblical literary analysis; 2. bayside picnic with favourite people; 3. bad hair day; 4. camellia from mum's garden; 5. a "cruel king Herod" (by his own admission) lurks at my window; 6. happy bunting! 7. endings; 8. bedroom corner.

[short + sweet] nano ohno

2011-11-08T17:09:00.002+10:00

Are you taking part in NaNoWriMo this year?

And let me pre-empt you by saying that I'm not. It's a dream of mine which means that I definitely want to do this someday, but every time November rolls around, I am newly convinced that in the southern hemisphere, November is the worst possible month to attempt such a project. Okay, December would be marginally worst, because, you know -- Christmas insanity. But said insanity begins in November, coupled with the onset of the first really big hot days of the year, a sudden burst of summery social engagements, not to mention the winding down of school and music lessons and all of that. In an email I just sent to a friend, I proposed June as a far better southern month for NaNo -- which sounds dreamy, but would probably feel lonely and dull when everyone else is immersed in the November frenzy. And having said that, all my excuses just make me feel small when I read this.

Whether you are taking part in NaNo or not, you must check out the StayInTheRoom community at Dreamwidth. During November, they're posting fresh writing prompts every single day. Throw one of them into your novel, or work on them individually as a way to get the writing juices flowing. They're really lots of fun.

Oh, and one last thing. I just started imagining the fun of doing NaNoWriMo and Movember -- squeezing out words and facial hair at the same time. If there is any man doing both, I want to meet him and bestow upon him a cape and a superhero outfit.

Project 52: twenty-two

2011-11-07T15:22:00.004+10:00

-- I took a grand total of four photos on my DSLR this week, none of them
brilliantly-lit or well-composed. Nevertheless, here is
Lady Abby the Gumworthy, slowly eating her uncle.
You see, Abby is not content with the so-called
Five Love Languages, so she invented a
sixth: eating. If Abby loves you,
she will eat you.
That's all there is to it.

* * * * *

In other news, I've very much missing replying to your comments via Conversations. I had no idea how attached I was to interacting back with you all in that way. Never mind -- just a few weeks more of intense schoolishness, and I will turn my attention to such niceties as blog comments (and actually reading all your wonderful blog posts). Thanks for being my friends, even ones I've never met.

[short + sweet] summertime wishlist

2011-11-03T09:18:00.002+10:00

Once school is over, I plan to work from home fairly steadily through the holidays. However, there will of course be more scheduling flexibility so I've slowly been making a mental checklist of Things I Really Would Love to Do over Summer Break. In no particular order:

read and comment on my friends' blogs on a regular basis
write letters!
plan a really good daily menu
go garage saleing
spend some sunsets out on the Point
read Crossed by Ally Condie
continue working through Wreck This Journal
start reading Finish this Book
blog about them both!
write an end-of-year-newsletter (it didn't happen last year; boo!)
call my niece and nephew on the phone more
do chores in the mornings rather than in odd snatches here and there
look at Christmas lights!
go to a carols evening
watch a movie in the middle of the day
cook meals for my family

I'm sure there'll be more on the list. I'll just keep adding to it. Is there any time over Christmas when you get a break from the usual and can spend time on the unusual? What would be on your list?

Project 52: twenty-one

2011-10-31T14:23:00.001+10:00

-- new favourite picture of my little bro.

[short + sweet] happies

2011-10-30T22:05:00.005+10:00

1. huge thunder claps and heavy, heavy rain.
2. finishing a book I've been reading for a-g-e-s.
3. Sunday afternoon road trips to the coast.
4. an old Greek man singing and mafia bosses dancing along.
5. clearing emails from my inbox.
6. happy LiveJournal comments.
7. family coffee dates.
8. gifs of my little niece eating her own hand.

What's on your happy list today?

[short + sweet] living life

2011-10-28T22:49:00.002+10:00

Mary Oliver wrote the “instructions for living a life:” Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it...
I like taking photos, I like writing, and I like telling people about things that I find. I like telling stories on blogs, because truthfully, it’s the best way I know how to.

Here.

It's the final(s) countdown:

2011-10-28T22:44:00.000+10:00

Now that we're all singing the same song*, let me say hi. Hi. Let me also apologise for my almost-week-long absence from blogville. Like Spongebob said, it's The Final(s) Countdown here, and I am full blast plowing through two 3000-word essays, two 1500-word short stories, a working journal, and several shorter essays. I have three more weeks of this followed by two weeks of relative ease (just one essay of 1250 words, I think; Henry V, you better watch your back), and then it's over tra la la! for another year.

Running through that list might sound like I take some morbid sort of delight in these impending deadlines, but writing it out actually makes the tasks feel smaller and more manageable. Nevertheless, it's at the all-encompassing tail end of the semester, so my posts over the next few weeks are probably going to be more of the short (definitely) and sweet (hopefully) variety. Just pictures and short words here and there, occasionally. I might also put Conversations on hold until school's over. BUT, this doesn't mean I don't love your comments. So very far from the truth. I do -- I love them a lot. And if you ask questions, I'll reply in a comment myself.

Christmas also feels like it's getting closer, and that makes me so excited. I'm eleven years old, alright? I've started shopping and making lists and I am so looking forward to the idea of nearly ALL my family gathering together for a little summer reunion sometime after Christmas. I don't welcome the humidity, but I welcome everything else that Summer brings. Roll on!

*thanks, Spongebob; I never knew you were the frontman for Europe.

Project 52: twenty

2011-10-23T22:07:00.004+10:00

A little note about 52 moments, here at week twenty: I haven't been taking pictures specifically for the project. Rather, at the end of the week, I go through the pictures I've taken in the past seven days, and choose one that fits the sense of... now. Some weeks, like this one, I hardly took any pictures at all, and the ones I did take weren't the greatest quality. Still, this little dandelion says something about the sky and the days and the air heavy with coming summer, so it seems fitting, even if it isn't a remarkable picture.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Caitlin -- you're right; it is hard to be real. I guess most valuable things take some real effort. I'm encouraged by your comment, so right back at you! (and yes, my Mum is the best :D)

Elisabeth -- glad to have you journeying on this same path. xx

Samantha -- yay! Can't wait to see what you have to share for the passions carnival.

Rebecca Simon -- and now you have the privilege of being that amazing mother-figure to your own little person!

Bethany -- yes yes on all counts! x

Hilla -- hooray for mums! I checked out your blog and I love your watercolour artwork. You have an amazing gift.

Emotions. Who'd have 'em?

2011-10-21T17:30:00.003+10:00

It happens with such stunning regularity that I really should quit being surprised. It's like clockwork, actually: I'll publish an article somewhere, about something, and over the next few weeks I will butt heads with that very thing again and again. It's almost (absolutely really very much) like God is saying, 'Are you truly and consistently going to believe what you say you believe?'

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote an article in which I discussed the huge value of authenticity. People being real with other real people is something I'm passionate about, and the article focussed on the importance of not shuffling to cover our flaws but learning to be honest with one another and with God about the less-than-Pollyanna aspects of our lives. Sure enough, the past few weeks (and even during the writing of the article, if I'm being honest), I seem to have been at my most vulnerable worst. My poor mother, oh counsellor of saintly virtue, has borne the major brunt of my blubbering, whining, stressing, and neuroses. And I find myself apologising for it constantly -- apologising for the lack of cool, the lack of answers, the lack of fakery, the lack of feeling like a completely together grown-up.

But every time Mum responds with kindness or simply by listening patiently (never rolling her eyes at me even when I want to roll them at myself), I'm reminded that she doesn't love me because I'm awesome, mostly because a) I never was that awesome, and b) even if I somehow worked out how to be awesome, I'd forget quickly. And though I am passionate about authenticity, I've realised that I want my realness to come in a more attractive package, which isn't really real at all.

The thing is, weakness is awkward and uncomfortable, embarrassing and messy. It isn't pretty, and it never seems to showcase us at our best. It can't be packaged up into neat little clearly-defined boxes to be pulled out at appropriate moments. "Oh, it's vulnerable time? We're swapping weakness stories? Boy, do I have a doozy for you!"

Weakness is inconvenient. It's annoying. It makes us lean on others -- but that's part of its beauty. None of us want to revel in our weaknesses, but we can, in one sense, embrace them. Weakness tells us we are human. It says we are broken. It reminds us that we need each other and we need a Saviour. Those who love us best know we aren't perfect and, in fact, they rarely expect us to be. Thanks Mum.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Mothercare -- it was lovely, wasn't it? :)

Meaghan -- ooh! D&M weekends! I love it! PS. "From the area!!" PPS. This.

Carla -- THIS MUST BE REMEDIED!

Rebecca Simon -- I agree on both counts! :)

Jess A -- you are absolutely adorable. Your comment made me grin exceedingly widely.

[lately] a meaghan weekend

2011-10-19T21:49:00.003+10:00

Meaghan weekends are too far and few between in my world. It had been thirteen months since the last one, which means I was well overdue for a dose of this excellent lady, and this weekend definitely hit the spot (though it was all too short).

I had ideas about introducing Meaghan to every cool local discovery that we've stumbled across since she was last here and since about 75% of those have something to do with food, it's probably a good thing we only had three days. As it happened, we were able to grab a sort-of-breakfast one morning from Bittersweet (their locally-made pastries are amaaaazing) and a sort-of-lunch (apparently we don't have the greatest internal mealtime clocks) from my favourite bookstore-and-restaurant, Riverbend Books. We also had very excellent mocktails from Hog's Breath (their greatest virtue being that they were so pretty and they were delivered by the world's most quirky waiter, Sunny).

In true Queensland style, Meaghan got to experience Autumn, Summer, Spring, rain, storms, and sunshine in her three days here. She made my baby niece laugh uproariously and she was kindly amused by my little brother's random hyperactivity. Somehow, we picked the most random assortment of movies to watch together (can you say "my dead brother turned into a shooting star and guided me to the place where my girlfriend lay unconscious and potentially dying?") with the exception of a couple, among them Soul Surfer, which was heartbreaking and heartwarming. Also, we were kind of excited when we found the three Carey sisters represented in Coke bottles (win!) and only wish we could have found bottles with Carla & Meaghan on them, in order to complete the quintet of longtime pals. Next time, Coca Cola will be more forward thinking with their promotion, I'm sure.

Good friends are such treasures. More Meaghan weekends, please, God?

* * * * *

Conversations:

Un -- indeed they do.

Samantha R -- I'll definitely have to check out your latest Project 52 work :).

Laura Elizabeth -- thank you! And yes, we definitely had fun.

Carla -- :D we missed you!

Meaghan -- WDHF! WAHF!

Project 52: nineteen

2011-10-17T17:43:00.003+10:00

-- truly excellent friend and truly lovely sister, both in the one place. Happy times!

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- but I LOVE long comments! Therefore, they are welcome at any time and you need never apologise! I liked your Agatha Christie hand-me-downs. I think hand-me-down books are just as exciting as new ones, because they have a story attached. Oh, and to answer your question, I won the books from Penguin in a twitter contest/giveaway.

Rebecca Simon -- I KNOW!

SandieT -- They smell good and they feel nice; they're that kind of bendy paperback that you almost imagine you can roll up and slide into your pocket :).

Esther -- hooray! I had a wee blogging break while my friend was here, but I'm back now. And yes, the books are so pretty!

Mothercare -- I will definitely go with your recommendation and then we will have to watch the BBC miniseries together.

Un -- we would've liked to have had you here.

Bek -- you shoulda come up, then!

Meaghan -- it was so very much my pleasure :).

temporary radio silence

2011-10-13T22:04:00.003+10:00

My beloved friend, Meaghan, is coming to visit tomorrow and staying for the weekend! You won't hear much from me while that's happening because I'll be, yanno, hanging out with her. Updates Monday!

Penguin passion:

2011-10-11T16:55:00.008+10:00

I'm not saying that Penguin has the monopoly on beautiful paperback design -- not really. But I am confessing that I've been in love with Penguin's paperbacks since I was a little kid. I am also confessing to purchasing copies of Penguin paperbacks that are not in readable condition, simply because I love to look at them. I even have them lining the picture rail in my bedroom, and sitting in little stacks in odd places.

My favourite Penguin cover is the simple tri-colour image with the solid bar at top and bottom, the title on cream in the centre, the text in bold black sans-serif -- and of course the enduring Penguin logo. To me, it's an example of classic, timeless design. I love it.

I was thrilled, then, when Penguin once again began publishing old (and new) favourites in this gorgeous imprint -- happy little orange paperbacks with crisp covers, perfect hangbag size, and at a good price.

I was even more thrilled, yesterday, though, when THESE BABIES arrived. Thrilled is possibly an understatement; delirious might be closer to fact. The latest twenty-six Popular Penguins, all in a box, all courtesy of Penguin on Twitter*, delivered to my door. Can we please spare a moment for some serious exclamation pointage?

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

(The extra exclamation point is for the adorable book bag that also came in the box).

It's ~~kind of~~ totally a book-and-Penguin-lover's dream come true.

So now, my friends, where to start? I definitely want to blog my way through these books, sharing my reactions, which ones were my favourites, which ones were not, which ones you will just have to try for yourselves -- and I want your help to decide which to start on. I've narrowed down a possible starting place with these six:

The High Window, Raymond Chandler
The Pearl, John Steinbeck
The Day of the Triffids, John Wyndham
The Accidental, Ali Smith
The Autograph Man, Zadie Smith
A Kestrel for a Knave, Barry Hines

Which one/s have you read? Which did you love the most? Which titles intrigue you? I'm ready to be dictated to by your choices! Thank you, Penguin, for providing so much giddy bookish joy!

*Follow them on Twitter for book news, quizzes and giveaways, and general bookish appreciation.

Edited to add: no wonder I felt so much affinity with this blog design; check out the layout and the colours. Hmm...

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- November meet-up possibilities WOOHOO! (and yes, I love mum and dad's mugs, too)

Katie -- the moustache mug also has Frida Kahlo's eyebrows on it. It's basically amazing.

Project 52: eighteen

2011-10-10T23:06:00.003+10:00

-- tea and coffee, Mum's and Dad's, plaid and mustaches.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- I like it that we experience the same weather and that you know exactly what I'm talking about! PS. Good luck with your intense week of school! xx

Samantha R -- better late than never indeed! This one's going to just scrape in before it clicks over to Tuesday. Oh, and I expect to see lots of Autumny pictures as everything turns red and gold over there. Lovely!

Un -- BREADTOPPPPP! (let's have some when you come next, right?)

Rebecca Simon -- "Spolphet" made me laugh, too! Word verifications can be hilarious :D :D :D.

Jessica -- it's an amazing, tree-lined street. So beautiful!

Carla -- aww, that would be so much fun! The bunch of us and assorted extras all getting together for a reunion (I'm imagining it in cabins by the beach. Sound good?).

Meaghan -- HGDHASGDFHGHGHGSHDHG!!!! << okay, that was dangerous. I started clicking like a crazy person and accidentally opened up weird dialogue boxes.

Cara -- ice-cream and a crazy run in a lightning storm definitely turn things around :).

Lauren -- your comment made me lol :). See you tomorrow night!

Mothercare -- it was good, indeed. Thanks for 'getting' me.

Katie -- I quite love a good lightning storm -- from the shelter of my house!

[life stories] lightning

2011-10-08T20:01:00.007+10:00

(no pictures, just words):

It had been kind of a weird day, for a Saturday. Unmet expectations, plans shelved in favour of other plans that didn't eventuate, lingering at home for visitors who didn't come, thoughtless words spoken, then regretted. Face twisted, teetering on the verge of tears all day long, fighting against sadness with no real legitimacy, no explanation.

Just one of those days, I guess.

After dinner, we walked, the four of us, down the hill to get ice cream. We smiled and talked and felt the breeze turn to cold on our already-summerised skin. It helped, to step out of the normal into another normal.

We compared notes:
Try the peanut butter choc.
I got hokey pokey but it's super rich.
Really? I had it, too, and I thought it was okay.

Above the shop roofs, past the power lines, beyond the dark shadow of trees and bush and whatever beyond that, lightning twitched. It came in sheets first, quick flashes like some divine photographer was priming his camera. Then, as we began the walk home, it morped into forks, flickering from the top end of the sky down to stab the earth. Rain followed, fat drops of cold which fell one by one at first and then nearer together. Finally, it came in vast uncountable waves. We jogged, walked, and then ran up the hill.

Move faster -- and don't hide under any trees!
Sure. But I don't want to run to save myself from lightning only to die of a heart attack once I'm home.

We laughed, but I suspect it was only half fun. The other half was fear-fuelled exhilaration. There was a possibility of danger, and that was enough.

We stumbled onto the verandah of the house and stood there while water pooled around our feet. My shoes were sodden and heavy. My mascara had run and the ghostly black circles under my eyes must've made me look ghoulish.

"I no scared no more," my brother said, entirely too loudly. He was breathless and wide-eyed but grinning.

Happy Saturday.

* * * * *

Conversations in tomorrow's post (when I'm not so sleepy).

Daybook #11

2011-10-06T16:03:00.003+10:00

Outside my window the sky is grey, the grass is wet, the air is cold, the mood is distinctly... sleepy.

I have been listening to less music than usual over the last few weeks. Any recommendations?

I have been wearing anything hurriedly pulled from my wardrobe, it seems. Since things have been summery and wintry, warm and cool, I never quite know what to wear. Today it's denim and cardigans.

I am thankful for the very cute little outdoor setting my parents set up on the Housie verandah. I foresee quiet moments with tea and books out there.

I am pondering thoughts on passion with a purpose, what it means to be made in the image of God, the tension between the real and the ideal in Renaissance literature (an essay that needs to be written), and why rainy days make me so drowsy.

I am reading Red Spikes, a collection of short stories by Margo Lanagan. Each story has something ethereal, even unsettling, about it. The words are delicious, the characters intriguing and often introspective. And there is just enough creepiness to make me want to keep reading, but tentatively.

I am creating words and deadlines and deadlines and words.

I am looking forward to the arrival, in eight days, of one of my best friends, Meaghan. We get to have three days together and we intend to talk, eat unhealthy things, watch stuff, soak up sunshine, explore, rule the Housie, and just be together. I'm so looking forward to this.

A picture-thought I'm sharing is not one, but three. Hayley was in town on Monday and, though I knew her back when we were both in primary school, we hadn't met since we'd become grownups and bloggy pals. We stormed Sunnybank Hills, everyone's favourite little-Asia-in-Brisbane, and I introduced Hayley to the delights of EasyWay bubble tea and BreadTop. Also on Monday, I got to watch The Help with Ruth and then we stayed at McDonald's for hours, talking together until we saw the menu board switch over to the breakfast meal options. It was a good day.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- I agree with you wholeheartedly. Every Sunday afternoon should be lazy, in my opinion.

Esther -- I want to ask you to forgive me for posting tantalising food pictures but I feel sure I may spring some on you again. You have been warned! ;) Your list of Sunday afternoon activities is fabulous, and honestly I can't think of a better way for you to have introduced yourself than in sharing that. Bravo and thank you for your lovely comment!

Chantel -- you are so sweet. Thank you.

Katie -- it definitely seems that the consensus for a great Sunday afternoon involves going slow, with good things to do and nice people to do them with.

Bek Axe -- B-D

Un -- nice long comment!! Of particular note: calling me a dag, Brian McFadden reference, Favourite Noodle reference, your so-called awkwardness disbelief.

Jessica -- actually, I'm much the same. I'd love to have done my chores on Saturday, but usually Things Happen, and Sunday afternoon becomes a time for small jobs here and there. Weirdly, though, I quite enjoy that.

Rebecca Simon -- fish and chips feels like such a great Aussie tradition, doesn't it (though, having said that, I'm sure we stole it from the Brits)?

Project 52: seventeen

2011-10-05T14:10:00.002+10:00

-- Sunday lunch, fish and chips down by the bay.

This week's 52 moments post is sneaking in incredibly past the loosely-prescribed deadline of "sometime over the weekend", but I hope you guys will forgive me. What's your favourite Sunday afternoon activity, whether in spring (if you're a southerner like me) or autumn for all you northern hemisphereans? I also want to say a hi and you-make-me-happy to new followers and new Google readers who have started reading over the past week or so. Feel free to drop a line introducing yourself. I love to make new blog friends!

* * * * *

Conversations:

Mothercare -- you know I listen to you even more than I listen to Ira Glass, right?

Laura Elizabeth -- one day there will be a great celebration in the world where awkward people may unite and celebrate their awkwardness. I will be the one tripping over the banner.

Ruth -- heehee! :D PS. Monday night was excellentttttt! I love hanging out with you and The Help was so good.

Rebecca Simon -- thank you for sharing all my awkward joy! And thank you for forever being encouraging! How's your little person going? I dearly want you to blog more now that I can't lurk you on facebook!

Katie -- I think that quote is one of those ones I'll have to pull out about once a month. Why is it so easy to forget simple and good truths about creativity? I can't absolutely promise I'll share a scan of the newspaper photo, but if it's not toooo terrifying, I might :).

Elizabeth Fay -- I love you! Thank you for making me smile.

Elizabeth -- And I'm excited for you!

HCH -- right back at you! (only of course, I want you to sign your book with your name, obvs).

Elisabeth -- one of the simultaneous benefits and disadvantages of being the one holding the camera means that there are rarely pictures of me. Usually this is helpful!

Samantha R -- you are such a dear!! I could almost envision you waving happy cheerleading pompoms because you shared in my excitement with such enthusiasm. xxx

SandieT -- YES! I either prefer the entirely invisible audience reading my words from a distance, or the very small familiar audience of close friends and family. I'm not a fan of public speaking of any kind! The important thing is that you are using your gift; writing, listening, revising, re-working: This is the real work of any author. << This is so true. Thank you!

Cara -- you are so wise! I've been thinking a lot lately about how I measure "success" as a writer and mostly I'm discovering that I've made those markers far too narrow. As Sandie said above, the true mark of a writer is someone who works at perfecting her craft and constantly moving forward, whether that means "success" in the publishing arena or not. Your thoughts complement this idea so well. Thank you!

In which I get to pretend like I'm semi-famous, with dubious results:

2011-10-02T14:14:00.005+10:00

I think I've mentioned before that my local council library system might be the best in the world. The libraries themselves are top notch; my favourite even has its own cafe window. Iced coffee + reading = winning. But what continues to impress me is the ongoing dedication to developing emerging artists within the local community. In particular, I've been privileged to benefit from the Authors in Action program, a series of author talks, worshops, and events facilitated by the Redland Libraries for the purpose of educating and developing local readers and writers by exposing them to great stories, great teachers, and great opportunities.

One of these opportunities is the Redlitzer Award for 2011, a writing contest for prose work of any genre up to 3000 words. I was honoured to be one of ten finalists chosen by the judges, authors Louise Cusack and Anita Bell, and got to spend a day with the other nine authors and nine runners-up as we discussed the craft of writing and learnt from published writers under the facilitation of Arthurian fiction writer MK Hume. The day provided a brilliant opportunity to meet other local writers as well as to workshop our short stories with guidance from those who have been there and done it all before.

Last night was the Redlitzer Gala event, the launch of the 2011 anthology and announcement of the editor's choice for best short piece of the ten finalists. The event was beautifully hosted by the Victoria Point library, with balloons, champagne, and canapes among the bookshelves. Of course, I did not consume said treats since inevitably at such events I am always either a) talking too much, or b) too nervous to risk holding actual food and drinks in my actual hands. Yes, last night I was both.

The Redland Shire mayor, Melva Hobson, opened the evening by commending the anthology as well as the council's dedication to bringing the work of emerging local artists into the light of day. Guest speaker journalist Frances Whiting discussed the ways in which writing has impacted her life, showing us both the poignant and the hilarious sides of writing a personal column for the public to read. Her stories were so good I (almost) wanted to ditch fiction and focus my attention on journalism instead.

Everyone was thrilled when Beverley Asmus (in the picture above, book-signing like a pro) won the editor's choice award for her story, Sticks and Stones, and Jo McHenry received an encouragement award for The Swallows of Wellington Point. Then we all got our hands on a copy of the anthology -- yay! However, in the balance of weights and measures that is life on this crazy planet, there was a price to pay for the joy of seeing work in print, and this came in the form of a) getting pictures taken, and b) pretending to be a breezy, established author. I'm beaming and confident when I'm just a face in the crowd, but the minute any form of spotlight swings even remotely in my direction -- even if it's just a Mini Maglite -- I become strangely non-human.

Of course, with regards to the picture-taking, the Socially Awkward Penguin in me immediately came waddling to the fore. I stood there frozen while the photographer arranged the anthology authors to her pleasing, and by the time we were in an adequate formation, I'd been smiling so long I'd actually forgotten how to.

What do I do with my cheeks?
My lips! My lips! I can't feel them!
Why are my teeth getting in the road?

I guess when the paper comes out I will see the full force of my multiple facial seizures. Until then, I'm going to pretend that didn't happen.

Then someone got the brilliant idea to set up a signing table for the authors to sign copies of the anthology. Soon there was a production line set up with a long white table, nine chairs, and a row of fresh black Sharpies ("Just like for real authors!") and we sat there while people brought us their copies to sign. It felt so very much like playing at being Real Authors that I kept laughing and thinking, This is silly! I'm not a Real Author! Then, when the lovely journalist Frances Whiting pushed her copy towards me to sign, the ridiculousness of it overflowed out loud: "This is so stupid! You should be signing things!"

When I thought all that awkwardness was over, I went to say goodbye to one of the authors whose workshops have taught me so much and really given my writing education a big shove in the right direction. She had some encouraging words to say which really meant a lot. In response, I turned into a malfunctioning robot and could only make repetitive gushing sounds which probably sounded something like THANK YOU OH THANKS YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME SO MUCH I AM NOT WORTHY I WILL KEEP TRYING THANK YOU IS MY FACE SHINY. But even malfunctioning robots such as myself have hearts, and those words found their way there -- so thank you.

Perhaps all this is to teach me that with every small gift comes some measure of awkward pain. And should I someday have figured out enough of life and of words to be a Real Author, and I am seventy-five years old and signing copies of My Very Own Books in a Borders store somewhere (because in my dream world there will still be Borders stores and we'll still be reading paper books when I'm seventy-five), and I seem confident and gracious and I actually have a nice signature -- and should you be an introverted youngster still learning and hoping and wondering if your writing dreams will come true, and should you go home and Google my name and somehow come across this blog post (because of course Google will still be around in 2055), then know this, my friend: that graciousness and confidence you see in the seventy-five-year-old me? I'm probably faking it. Inside is a malfunctioning robot just busting to get out.

Imma go practice my signature now.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- you and me and our mums and IRA!!!!!!

Saturday Inspiration #5

2011-10-01T12:26:00.003+10:00

This is some of the best advice I've ever heard on the topic of growing as a creative worker. It's also delivered by my favourite journalist ever, Ira Glass. I've come across the quote numerous times, and it's like a helpful punch in the stomach every time. This audio-visual rendering is doubly excellent -- Ira Glass's cool nerd voice, and pretty type. I'm so happy I get to see this guy in person on January 12th!

* * * * *

Conversations:

Samantha R -- agreed. I've seen pictures of your dog and I actually think she's pretty cute. Plus, she's 'Australian', so I feel an instant bond with her ;).

Mothercare -- I suspected it was older, but I wasn't entirely sure. (your comment disappeared!)

Bethany -- oh YES. That's incredibly frustrating! Honestly, that should have been on my list!

Abecedarium:

2011-09-30T22:51:00.005+10:00

It's been a lo-o-o-ng week. From Monday onwards, I was convinced that the week was two days further ahead. It's felt like Saturday for a while but Saturday hasn't even reached here yet. So while my brain is fuzz, I'm borrowing an idea I've seen floating around other blogs, but first seen at Rachele's. If you feel inspired, do give it a try, too. It's a fun way to share the small details which might get missed in the usual blog post.

A. Age: well there's a 1 and a 3 in it, and I'm not thirteen.
B. Bed size: single; a white cast-iron frame that's probably a hundred years old.
C. Chore that you hate: cleaning the toilet (because it seems icky).
D. Dogs: I'm not especially a fan -- too much slobber and too much hair. I have nice memories of the dogs we had as I grew up, though.
E. Essential start to your day: my little morning ritual which includes breakfast, some reading, and checking my email.
F. Favorite color: this comes with too many disclaimers: for home decorating, soft white; for wearing, black (always classy); for painting, orange; for a bright splash, deep red.
G. Gold or Silver: I might be odd, but I like both -- just not at the same time.
H. Height: 5’7 1/2"
I. Instruments you play: piano.
J. Job title: writer and sometime music tutor.
K. Kids: I hope so, someday.
L. Live: pretty much everywhere, it seems.
M. Mother’s name: Catherine.
N. Nicknames: DeeDee and occasionally Dani.
O. Overnight hospital stays: only when I was a wee child.
P. Pet peeves: you're/your; tailgaters; serial speed-limit breakers.
Q. Quote from a movie: "I don't even remember Ruthie Pigface Draper!" [Dan in Real Life]
R. Right or left handed: right.
S. Siblings: four; two brothers and two sisters.
T. Time you wake up: this varies, and is usually my alarm set for 7 hours after I go to bed (which is, of course, never enough sleep).
U. Underwear: is essential.
V. Vegetable you hate: not a fan of tomato in big chunks.
W. What makes you run late: wasting time. Wouldn't this answer be the same for everyone?
X. X-Rays you’ve had: feet and teeth, both repeatedly.
Y. Yummy food that you make: um, can't think! Those who may have eaten my food and found it yummy may fill in their own answer here.
Z. Zoo animal: meerkats are kind of dorky, skitchy, and cool.

Okay, Saturday is less than twenty minutes away, so happy weekend!

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- you were first and only! How doubly glad I am for your comment of greatness! I love that you called my parents' place The Big House. That's awesome. And yes, I must make those brownies. I really must. If it's finals week for you, hope it all goes well. If you are finished for the term, ENJOY! xx

Adventures in webland:

2011-09-28T18:56:00.006+10:00

Wow. Who knew that old mate Facebook would generate so much discussion? Love him or hate him, it appears that Facebook is the guy whose parties we always want to get invited to, but who doesn't really seem to be our friend. We like hanging around him. We like the people we spend time with when we're at his place. But we really don't like how he runs things, and we especially don't like when he changes plans on us without our knowledge or permission. Plus, we're not sure about the fact that he seems here to stay, ushering in a whole new social era that has changed (and keeps changing) how we interact with each other. What a weird weird world we live in.

If you're thinking more about whether facebook is right for you -- particularly regarding privacy concerns and the company policies behind the whole thing -- you might find this article from the UK's Guardian to offer some rumination fodder (thanks to Alastair for the recommendation). Yes, I do realise that in light of that article, Twitter (which I love) and Blogger (which I love even more) also come under fire. However, I think both have managed to avoid most of the serious criticism that Facebook has brought on itself, and Blogger in particular has a great track record.

Absolutely on the other hand (and I like zee uzzer hand as much as Tevye), if you and Facebook are BFFs but you're not sure what to do with all the recent changes, you'll really appreciate Gretchen's in-depth posts, Understanding the New Facebook and Facebook Landing Pages and SSL. I hereby vote that Gretchen writes how-to posts every time our favourite technologies change things on us. It would help us all, I'm certain.

If all that Facebook talk is making you hungry, please go check out Laura's post about the amazing chocolate chip cookie dough brownies she baked. No, the post will not make you less hungry, but it will inspire you to bake something incredible to fill that void. I have not made said brownies yet. Why, you ask? Because I know I would eat the finished product and turn into a brownie myself. That is food for sporty people, not chubby book nerds.

Speaking of book nerds (chubby and thin ones alike), my friend Katie passed on a link to Writing Australia's Unpublished Manuscript Award. If you've been working on an adult literary or genre fiction manuscript, this award could open amazing doors for you. Do check it out!

New favourite artist new favourite artist new favourite artist.

Finally, two links of my own: I actually posted a review at my languishing little book blog (believe it or not) and I created a new (or, rather, replacement) tumblr. When I first joined tumblr, I used my account mainly as a bookmarking tool for stuff I found that I liked. Nebulize is less about reblogging and more about sharing little pictures, snippets, and quotes that are more instant (and shorter) than my usual blog posts. If this blog is something like my journal, then tumblr is a bunch of post-its.

And now, adieu.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Karley -- I approve of your ironic liking.

Carla & Alastair -- I got an adorable picture in the mail todaaaaay!

Staish -- your words empower me onto a life facebook-free!

Jessica -- and there's actually something freeing about limiting connectivity, even in such a basic way. Better to have a few really great friends than hundreds of meaningless acquaintances.

An Australian Housewife -- if you do so, welcome to the ranks of facebook backsliders! :D

Tegan R -- if you're in the club, then it's bound to be cool.

Laura Elizabeth -- I'm amazed at how pervasive it is. Already today I was trying to lurk somebody from my childhood and realised that, without facebook, it isn't very possible. A good thing, I think. The comparison and feelings of missing out were definitely the worst part of facebook for me, too; all my problem, of course, but doing away with the source will hopefully help in some part. Yay for possibly clearing schedules and the chance for coffee dates! Also, FYI, you are one of the most literate people I know, typos or not. (Ooh, I just wrote typosm. I really should have left it there because of the irony).

Samantha R -- pictures are one of the best things about facebook and something I will definitely miss!

Amanda -- you're a sweetie! I'm glad we were real life friends before facebook friends. And we'll always have LJ!

Caitlin -- you can't shake me so easily and I'm glad I can't shake you!

Katie -- isn't it interesting? I feel I am more interactive via Twitter, and more of a spectator via Facebook. It's crazy. I guess that's why we call them tools, though; they have different and varied uses, and we get to decide how we use them and which ones help. I look forward to seeing how Google+ evolves. I do hope it doesn't become just another Facebook. Oh, and I so relate to your thoughts re. Facebook doing the thinking for you!

Un -- always in with you, no matter what.

Cara -- I think you nailed it. We get to peer into others' lives without actually interacting. Of course, the same is possible with any form of contemporary social media (blogging included), but it seems people take their guard down on Facebook whereas blogging requires a more far-thinking approach (at least, I think so). Yes! The Joy devotional is great! I really recommend it. I think you'd love it.

Rebecca Simon -- you're so right. We all have to decide for ourselves what is useful and what will just get in the way of a fruitful life and healthy communication.

Deactivation station:

2011-09-26T21:44:00.004+10:00

Oh, facebook.

You inspire such love and loathing in me. One minute I can't bear the sight of you, and the next I'm logging on so I can be sure not to miss some important tidbit of information. What is this mighty weapon of influence you wield over me?

I've deactivated you once or twice before, always temporarily, mainly because I needed to get on top of my emails or curb minor distractions from my life for a season. I've always come back to you. But lately the dissatisfaction just can't be assuaged. You annoy me, facebook, and I think it's time for a separation.

Facebook, it's not you, it's me. Okay, it's partly you -- especially lately, with your weird new layout and cluttered way of showing me information. We're supposed to talk to each other before we have makeovers. I don't like what you've become.

But yes it's me, too.

It takes two to tango, and though I could blame you for making me crave information, for making me desperate not to miss out on things, I'm really the one at fault. It's my problem if I have to know what's going on in the lives of acquaintances I haven't spoken to since primary school. It's my problem if the green-eyed monster emerges when I see that friends whom I've been trying unsuccessfully to pin down for a coffee date have caught up with other friends three times in the past fortnight. It's my problem if I share things and judge their coolness or intelligence based on whether others 'like' them. It's my problem if I'm scared that I'm going to miss out on something.

So I'm calling for a time-out, facebook. I understand I'll be out of the loop. I understand I won't get invited to things. I understand people won't notice I'm gone because -- well, that's your nature. It's what we see in you that keeps us interested, facebook, not what we don't see.

But that's okay. I'll handle it. And -- for now, at least -- I'm going to kick it old-school, you know, emails, texts, all that jazz.

Facebook, we're kind of over (even if only temporarily). Don't call me.

Oh, and here: have a butterfly. He was hanging out with me today.

Sincerely,
Danielle

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- Whoa! Your weekend sounds insanely busy! Four emergencies? Yikes! I'm glad you came out the other end unscathed. The DW episode was The God Complex; I might watch the last ten minutes on iView so I can at least see how it ended! (I liked the dollhouse episode even though it was kinda creepy for a while there, too).

Carla -- haha, good spotting, eagle eyes! That's my favourite box design from there, too :).

Ruth -- please please steal this idea! I'd love it if you did. And I stole it from somewhere myself, though of course I can't remember where. Imma email you back! I'm sorry your kidlets had sniffles :(.

[lately] my saturday; picture-an-hour

2011-09-25T21:41:00.008+10:00

It was the first Saturday in many that wasn't planned out with people, events, and things-to-be-done. I even took the entire weekend off study, and had a sleep-in. So good.

10.30 -- Tumblr and reading in bed.

11:30 -- brunch! Grilled ham and cheese.

12:30 -- work for a writing project due at the end of the week.

1:30 -- my room gets some required attention.

2:30 -- hitting the road.

3:30 -- enjoying coffee with these beautiful belles.

4:30 (actually, more like 5) -- heading home.

5:30 -- amazing sunset reflected in the window.

6:30 -- dinner with my family.

7:30 -- Doctor Who time!
(I didn't finish watching this ep; too creepy!)

8:30 -- hanging out with Mum.

9:30 -- still chilling; also lurking.
(hi Hayley!)

10:30 -- the great Australian snack,
followed by exercising and organising.

12:30 (yeah, I skipped an hour) -- ablutions.

1:30 -- devotions and bed
(too late, I know! I'm working on that).

What did your weekend look like?

* * * * *

Conversations:

BushMaid -- his tour might be finished now. I'm not sure. I hope for your sake it's not!

Project 52: sixteen

2011-09-25T13:47:00.004+10:00

-- at a Colin Buchanan concert with my little bro and goddaughters.

PS. Stand by; I took a photo-an-hour yesterday and will be posting soon.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Mothercare -- perhaps we can persuade you over to the dark side -- the side of Oxford comma devotees? Now they've done away with it altogether, the Oxford comma is subversive and rebellious. Maybe it's even hipster?

Katie -- I have no doubt that your blog will indeed be a thing of awesomeness. It always has been!

Laura Elizabeth -- I remember seeing this quote from a love letter once, which said, "You and I were always better written down than standing up". I thought -- other people feel like this, too??

Dude!

2011-09-20T21:55:00.007+10:00

The excellent Laura -- whose witty and whimsical blog is an absolute favourite of mine, and who is just as cool in real life -- gave me a blogging award. I'm honoured! What's more, I get to keep the fun moving along. It works like this:

graciously accept your award.
complete the death-defying stunt of telling your readers seven random things about yourself.
pass on the love to three more bloggers.

I'm random (times seven):

my head is a weird shape. I try not to think about that too much.
when I was four, my parents gave me a bear with a big head and a zipper in his back for storing pyjamas in. I named him Pippi, and he has been hugged to within an inch of his life, thrown up on, put through several washing machine cycles, and pegged to the clothesline. When I was ten or eleven, my uncle gave me a Pippi clone, only this bear's body was pink instead of green. I called him Bippi, and I have both of those bears to this day. Bippi is pristine, clean, and his fur is shiny. Pippi is slightly threadbare, washed-out and nubby -- and of course I love him the most.
although I love conversation and spending time with special people (plus I tend to be talkative), I'm actually a closet introvert. I don't like big parties and I need time on my own to recharge. I feel most happy and creative when there's an even balance of family-and-friends-time and in-my-own-company-time.
following on from that, I guess it makes sense that the written word feels more natural to me than the spoken word. Again, I like talking! But speech for me is so much clumsier than writing. I nearly always fail to say things exactly as I mean them, and I'm good at making a hash of what I'm trying to say. Writing makes so much more sense and I'm more me when I write.
I like the tv series' Nickelodeon makes -- but not the cartoons.
I'm not an animal person, but it would be very cool to have a miniature turtle.
no matter how often people change the rules, I will always use the Oxford comma.

Versatile bloggers (times three):
I want to give this award back to Laura as well, but that makes no sense, really.

Staish of Anastasia Does is not only one of my favourite people, but she's also a wondrous blogger. Honestly, if this girl published a newspaper, I would be at the newstands waiting for it to arrive. I only wish she published blog posts five times a day. At her blog you'll find ruminations on marriage, church, creativity, and Jesus -- as well as really excellent pictures and impeccable style.
Jessica of Greengate Photo constantly blows me away with her wondrous photography skills. I especially love the pictures she shares of her family and of the wildlife she spots in her local area. Jess also has a deadpan sense of humour and good taste in sarcasm.
Katie's blog, Katiefoolery, is on hiatus until October, but I'm going to go ahead and direct you there anyway because Katie is an accomplished writer and a thoughtful blogger. She shares about her writing life, her travels with her cool group of girlfriends, and her photography. Look out for mysterious and atmospheric pictures of abandoned houses.

That was fun.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- those were my sentiments exactly! Although today actually felt like real spring instead of sneaky summer. I'm glad. Summer can hold off forever, please thank you.

Un -- you're welcome :)

Katie -- just seeing that little bee bouncing around there took me right back to childhood and summer holidays :).

Project 52: fifteen

2011-09-18T23:06:00.003+10:00

Hey there, spring bee.

(and happy happy birthday to my lovely little sister, A!)

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- OH MY. Please immortalise these brownies in a blog post, once you make them. Please. Oh, and I am super honoured by the award! Eeee!

Cara -- you are delightful. I'm glad you got to have a lovely holiday! I'm behind on blog reading so I look forward to catching up on yours :D.

Staish -- YUM.

Cookies and cream cupcakes v. 2.0

2011-09-16T22:50:00.004+10:00

I couldn't make it to my Bible study group last week, so I sent an email in apology and suggested the others devise a suitable penance. A reply came back from one of the guys: That's disappointing. Bring a cake. I haven't done much baking in the Housie oven yet, so I thought a cake might be ambitious until I work out whether the fan and temps are reliable. Cooking dinner is one thing, but cakes and pastries are more... delicate. I went for cupcakes instead. My reasoning was: they're smaller and baking time is less; therefore, less time in the oven means less chance for them not to work out fine.

I gave the cookies and cream cupcakes another try (Oreos were on sale -- yay!). The oven worked dandy and, since I made the cupcakes a little smaller this time, I got two dozen out of the batch. I forgot how hard the icing is to spread nicely, though. Heavy icing with big chunks of Oreos does not make for pretty cupcakes. I wrestled some icing onto the cakes for study last night, and shelved the rest until today when I had some other baking to do. I had the food processor out already, so I blended the remaining icing and the result was so much nicer. The colour is yummier and it spreads smoother and just looks less... weird. So my tip is, if you try this recipe, process the icing. So much better. Nom redux!

What's your favourite treat to cook lately?

PS. Sorry for the fluffy, sugary post which is basically a long-winded thought-out-loud about food. It's been a full-on week!

* * * * *

Conversations:

Meaghan -- yes.

Carla -- it's one I want to remember, too.

Samantha R -- I agree :).

Laura Elizabeth -- I totally recommend The Valley of Vision if you're looking for some amazing prayers. It's beautiful.

Amanda -- wow is right.

Peace on the inside:

2011-09-13T22:46:00.002+10:00

Today's mail brought with it that all-too-rare treat: a beautiful, handwritten letter from a lovely friend (if you're passing by my little home in webland, RMB, thank you). On the back of the envelope, she had written, in immaculate cursive, a prayer from Theresa of Avila. It was just right, and so I share it here in the hope that it may be right for one of you, too.

May you trust God that you were exactly where you were meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love has been given to you...
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- I like your spirit! It's our meme, so we get to decide whether we will post or not :D. Oh, wow, yes! Definitely give Freestyle another go. You do indeed deserve to be wowed.

Samantha -- thunderstorms definitely fit my picture of Spring, too.

Project 52: fourteen

2011-09-11T21:46:00.002+10:00

a spring bouquet from mum.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Anon -- true, true ;)

Laura Elizabeth -- I've always secretly wished I was a mysterious person with many secrets. Alas, I am not, but it's nice you discovered a factoid about me you didn't know :D. I teach piano and music theory. I used to do it full time, but now it's more of an occasional student thing.

Carla -- 'godliness with contentment is great gain'; what an excellent way to summarise this whole discussion. Thank you for relating! I love you. Also, a million stars for making a blog comment whilst settling into life with a new baby.

Samantha R -- stormy frizzy hair sisters unite! My hair's like a barometer.

Staish -- 'we do what we can with joy'. I like that a lot.

Lauren -- yay a comment from you! I'm glad you could relate. And yesterday was fun :D.

The elusive/illusive normal:

2011-09-09T16:52:00.003+10:00

I had four assignments to finish and hand in for school this week, so this morning found me making last-minute adjustments to the final two. Printing, editing, scribbling with a red pen, tweaking stuff; you know how it goes. By midday, they were done and emailed. I had a bunch of errands to run, so I changed out of my lounging/editing clothes and tried to work some level of appropriateness into my hair before joining my mum and little brother for the quick drive to the mall. There, I tried on a variety of clothes in an attempt to use a gift voucher before it expired (success -- I hope. Things invariably look different once you put them on, at home, a few days later). The three of us ate lunch in our small-town excuse for a food court before heading out in search of various groceries (them) and some last-minute gift additions (me) for a birthday package to be posted tomorrow. Back at home, I had half an hour to do a quick pick-up of the house (a few days of under-the-weather and things looked partway to topsy turvy) before my music student arrived.

Tidying done, I was brushing my teeth and attempting not to look dog-tired when I started thinking about the rushed (but-not-frantic-really) pace of the day, how I always seem to be handing my assignments in the day they are due (and never a week or two early, as in my happiest dreams), how I was tidying things because a student was coming and not because I'd actually made a space in my day for doing that -- and I thought, it would've been different if this week was normal.

Of course, it struck me immediately like a smug little tweak of the nose: THIS IS NORMAL, DANIELLE. Whatever a day throws at you, whatever life requires, is your normal. You just have to take what comes and make the most of it.

Following that line of reasoning reminded me that shopping doesn't disrupt a 'normal' day; it becomes part of the normal day. Handing assignments in early doesn't matter. Getting them done and done to the best of my abilities by the deadline is all that's required. And who cares why the house gets tidied? -- just make sure it does get tidied. This is life, Danielle. Live it.

(and it makes me laugh that just last night I asked my mother, How can we learn to live in the moment?)

* * * * *

Conversations:

Jessica -- ha! I relate to this line of thinking.

Bethany -- absolutely! (although today does feel like Winter all over again!).

Project 52: thirteen

2011-09-04T20:52:00.004+10:00

Hello, Spring.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Jessica -- never too late to the game! Do you have an Android phone? There are some similar cool apps to use on those.

Samantha R -- I'm definitely having fun with it :).

Laura Elizabeth -- I guess I forgot to tell you about the whole Narnia world I live in for a rare hour or two on cool mornings. I really am sorry! PS. You're right about the instagram pictures looking good; I am terrible at taking iPhone pictures (some people get really expert-looking ones) but instagram makes them kind of look like the poor lighting and the grain is intentional. Sort of.

[lately] life in instagrams

2011-09-03T23:44:00.003+10:00

Instagram is perfect for visually recording little moments when the camera isn't handy. Like when your mum randomly brings home the cutest little tub of choc moose...

or when you're admiring some sweet baby cheeks...

or the water (& dolphins!) put on an amazing show...

or when stuff is just cute...

or you find your little brother's to-do list, complete with checkboxes...

or you're sunning it up...

or your lunch looks great...

or it makes you happy that your little brother has the same Tintin crush that you once had...

or when the morning light is magical.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- ooh, well your zeal has made me feel more enthusiastic about tackling The Shifting Fog. I hope I like it as much as you did! And yes, fiction is such a brain-saver during the school semester.

Daisy -- yay! It's fun to get new book recommendations :).

Katie -- I'll definitely have to report back on my favourites.

Elisabeth -- Tolkien was quite the critic of his friends. Apparently he thought the Narnia series was a simplistic sell-out, too? I'm glad his blunt critique didn't put Lewis off :).

Bek Axe -- Captain Americaaaaa!

Eweight -- ooh, good to know! I'm looking forward to reading it.

Cara -- ah, beautiful long comment! Spring arrived on the first of September, so happy sunshiny times! Oh, I'm sure you will love The Help. And I've never read Lark Rise but I've seen the series, too. Oh, the Gluten Free girl cookbook would be amazing! I'd be hungry all the time just paging through.

[tuesday top ten] to-be-read this spring

2011-08-30T21:53:00.005+10:00

Top Ten Tuesday is the creation of the blogging team over at The Broke and the Bookish. Each Tuesday, there's a new top ten to explore, and this week the theme is the top ten books to-be-read this ~~fall~~ spring. Rather than listing ten books I'm looking forward to finding, I'm going to go ahead and list ten books I already possess, ones which are patiently waiting for my attention. I have an absolutely terrible habit of starting too many books at once, getting overwhelmed, and then -- in spite of loving them -- having to shelve some until I have brain space to spare. So the books I'm listing here are ones I've begun or almost begun and can't wait to finish.

1. Breath for the Bones | Luci Shaw
This was recommended for school one semester. I bought it, started it, fell in love with it, and didn't get to finish it. It's an exploration of art and faith, and it was gentle and powerful. But I only got a third of the way through, so I'm looking forward to reading more.

2. Out of the Silent Planet | CS Lewis
The brilliant CS Lewis and his bizarre science fiction. I got halfway through this one (and own the other two in the trilogy as well) and this time, I want to finish it.

3. My Seventh Monsoon | Naomi Reed
This looks to be amazing. It was a gift from friends for my birthday last year, an autobiography about a Sydney woman transported to the Himalayas. I'm excited about this one.

4. By Hook or By Crook | David Crystal
'A linguistic travelogue' exploring words and their weird histories.

5. The Clumsiest People in Europe | ed. Todd Pruzan
This was a delightful across-the-world gift from a lovely friend (hi, Asea!). It's darkly hilarious -- the naive and even bigoted 19th century observations of a woman called Mrs Mortimer, calling out the peoples of the world on their failures and foibles.

6. Taj and the Great Camel Trek | Rosanne Hawke
A children's story set in the untamed years of Australian exploration and centering on twelve-year-old Taj, an Afghani camel driver. Rosanne Hawke is a wonderful Australian YA author (and one of my lecturers, to boot!).

7. Loser | Jerry Spinelli
Jerry Spinelli is golden, and I think this very quirky story is set to break my heart a little bit. I'll have to report back when I'm done.

8. The Shifting Fog | Kate Morton
This is the only one on my list that I don't have a lot of enthusiasm about. On a purely aesthetic level, this is 566 pages of narrow margins and small print -- and I generally do not have the time or patience for intensely wordy books. Also, the story -- a moody mystery -- is told predominantly in flashback, and I am not a fan of flashback. But I want to make myself finish this.

9. The King's Speech | Mark Logue & Peter Conradi
I saw the movie, and now I want to read the book that inspired it. Real history, y'all!

10. Ransom | David Malouf
I've started this one already, but got distracted. It's a powerful prose retelling of Homer's Iliad, and the writing is delicious.

Four of the ten books are Australian, so that's a nice percentage for local reading. What would be on your list?

* * * * *

Conversations:

Samantha R -- it was very cool and fun indeed!

Laura Elizabeth -- peaceful is right. That sunset was amazing!

Project 52: twelve

2011-08-29T22:51:00.003+10:00

Sunset, Cleveland Point.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- yippeeee! I'm definitely looking forward to next time, too :D. Thank you for being as lovely in person as you are on the page... er, screen.

Katie -- we did! :D

Staish -- yes, because you are in it. :)

A happy collision:

2011-08-27T23:15:00.004+10:00

This afternoon, my virtual world bumped into my real world and I got to meet blogging/livejournalling/tumblring buddy Laura actually in person. After a flurry of emails coordinating the details, we planned to meet up at a central location in order to see Captain America together. We even had the spy-school stuff set up: Laura would be wearing a red headband and I'd be carrying a yellow paperback copy of To Kill A Mockingbird. Because we are that cool, apparently.

As it happened, no Mockingbird was needed because we ran into each other quite by accident, ten or so minutes before our designated meeting time. It was exciting! Normally I'm super nervous about meeting online friends for the first time, but Laura's words have a genuineness about them that put me at ease before we even met. And she proved to be just the same in person -- fun and sweet -- oh, and with excellent taste in movies. A happy collision!

True to form, I completely forgot to take a picture until the last possible moment, but I'm suppressing my vanity in order to share this one of us inside the dark and damp carpark. At least Laura looks cute.

PS. Captain America is a smiley happy lovely movie.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Rebecca Simon -- yes! The Help is the book that inspired the film.

Laura Elizabeth -- I shall say 'intersting' from now on. ;) Thank you for this afternoon! :D

Chantel -- yes, graves have that effect on me, too! So many untold stories...

Mandi -- thanks for your comment! I am absolutely certain you will LOVE Daddy Long-Legs. There's a sequel, too: Dear Enemy. Not AS amazing, but still fantastic.

Samantha R -- we definitely share some favourite musicians :).

Project 52: eleven

2011-08-22T10:44:00.003+10:00

Plot marker, Cleveland cemetery.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- 1) yes, do a Daybook post! It's a fun way to record latest interests and consuming passions; 2) Yes! I definitely imagined Charlotte's Web being written by a woman. And didn't Downton Abbey have a male Evelyn character, too? So weird. 3) thank you for sharing that video. I LOVE IT! "GIRLS CAN'T WRITE BOOKS HA HA HAAA!"

Bek Axe -- LEEEEEELAND!

Eweight -- you have my sympathies. I've frequently lived in bookstore-less towns and it's sad. We don't have a secondhand bookstore nearby so I feel your pain at least in a minor way.

Katie -- appropriate celebration activities indeed!

Samantha R -- yes, I did take that picture. Thank you! Ah, and I'm loving Brandon Heath! He's fairly new listening for me but I'm loving it. What other musos do you enjoy?

It's National Bookstore Day!

2011-08-20T14:59:00.002+10:00

This is a super-quick drive-by post to tell you -- particularly if you're Australian -- that it's National Bookstore Day. The finger is a) pointing to the vintage Penguin paperbacks that are perched on my picture rail, subliminally showing you just how much I care about books, and b) sternly instructing you, SuperNanny style, to go visit your favourite local bookstore today, and let it know it's important.

And no, kids, amazon.com is not a bookstore.

Okay, I'm off -- to the bookstore!

Daybook #10

2011-08-19T22:13:00.002+10:00

Outside my window it's been bright and clear and sunny -- but so cold! It's a surprising departure from the weather lately, as if Winter's come out in full force for one last fling.

I have been listening to lots of Brandon Heath, Leeland, and Ben Rector. So good.

I have been wearing summer clothes, winter clothes, my school hoodie, pretty new earrings (a birthday gift from Mum), scungy clothes, dressy clothes. It's a weird confused season.

I am thankful for the weekend! for chilled family times; for reading in bed; for to-do lists even partially completed; for my little brother, even when he jumps out from corners and attacks me.

I am pondering all the responsibilities and obligations I have not yet fulfilled.

I am reading The Help by Kathryn Stockett. Normally I find books written in dialect to be awkward and unwieldy, but this one is proving to be a delight so far. I can hear the narrator's voice so clearly and so full of character!

I am creating space and order -- even if future-tense -- in The Housie. As time passes, things get re-shuffled and rearranged in the quest for better organisation. It's an ongoing process.

I am looking forward to sleeping in. So much.

A picture-thought I'm sharing is of one of the lovely, lovely birthday parcels that arrived in the mail this week. I know some truly warm and generous people.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- I know! I was over the moon when I discovered the "White" half of Strunk & White was that E.B. White! I remember being shocked, too, when I discovered years ago that E.B. was a he. I just truly thought that Charlotte's Web had to have been written by a woman.

Ruth -- that picture is a delight. It makes me want to turn all Hemingway and find a little cabin with a seaview window and tap away at a typewriter. Ooh, you read The Help? How have we not discussed this? I'm very much looking forward to the movie.

Samantha R -- it was full of loveliness :)

Staish -- me, too. I've read Eats, Shoots, & Leaves before but pounced on the chance to read it again since it's a required text for school. Punctuation and humour? Winner. I've actually started on The Help but if I'm finding I'm moving through it slowly, I'll pass it on to you and save you the loooong wait. Otherwise I'll read it quickly and pass it on to you anyway!

Drowning in a sea of books:

2011-08-16T23:03:00.006+10:00

Lately I've accumulated a startling amount of new books in a short space of time. Some were prizes, some were purchased with a book voucher (also a prize), and others were purchased for school (I'm sure you can tell which ones). I feel book-wealthy at the moment; it's luxurious! The only problem is working out which to read next. I'm great at starting too many books and then not knowing which ones to finish.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- thanks for the birthday love! The idea of many small parties is fun because it's really just an excuse to catch up with people, and you don't have to stand up in front of a big crowd and cut a cake or make a speech :D.

Carla -- yay!!! Let's all vote YES to public holidays on birthdays!

Katie -- ah, yay! I was a little concerned there were altogether too many pictures, so I'm glad you enjoyed them.

Lauren -- yum. Let's make banoffee pie soon. I wish you could have been here, too, but I'm glad we had a pre-birthday party :D.

Rebecca Simon -- spreading the fun over several days is so much cooler :D.

SandieT -- thank you for the kind unbirthday wishes :D. I love that Robert Frost quote; thank you for sharing!

Caitlin -- I always vote for spreading the fun over a few days :). Love back!

Un -- I, too, am a big fan of the handwriting. So far I can't bring myself to clean off the blackboard and write something new. Love you! x

Ruth -- well I'll simply(this) have to mention you in every post then, right? ;) Next time we'll make the boys take pictures of us.

[lately] birthday shenanigans

2011-08-14T23:14:00.009+10:00

This post is especially for my sisters, one of whom is in another state, and one of whom is currently in another country. Lauren, in particular, was most insistent about wanting pictures. Here you go, Lauz. Bear with me; my photo taking skills (never earth-shattering even at their peak) were not in full force this week past.

I really felt as though I got to have a double birthday, because on Wednesday (my birthday eve), I caught up with two lovely friends. About midday, Anastasia turned up at my door -- just like this -- bearing the most wondrous blackboard, handmade by her and husband Danny. I was so excited! Staish had also made icecream sundaes in jars -- eee!

We set off for the movies where we laughed and talked our way through Larry Crowne (also, I spilled sundae-in-a-jar on myself, so there was that) and then we had sushi!

It was the best and Anastasia is so awesome for giving me a special afternoon. It is my hope that we always live less than ten kilometres apart -- even though we both dream of escaping Queensland humidity at some stage in our future.

Happy!

Then, in the evening, Tain and I drove to meet Ruth and Malachi for a cheeseburger date -- the 10th being that miraculous day just after Ruth's birthday and just before mine. Of course, I forgot to take pictures of us birthday girls, but here are the boys. Judging from their excitement levels, it might well have been their birthdays.

Thursday was my Actually Birthday -- and Mum made amazing mocha french toast! Did I mention it was amazing?

And there were flowers! (gold and purple were the colours for my twenty-first birthday, way, way back in the black and white days).

Growing up homeschooled, then self-employed, and now studying, it's possible to get this irrational idea that all birthdays should be public holidays. That being the attitude I've somehow developed, we decided to spend some hours in a birthdayish exploration of one of my favourite suburbs, Bulimba.

We had lunch at this super awesome fantastic excellent very cool bookshop that I love.

It's like... everything excellent in a bookstore. Good food, books, and a verandah with a book screen!

Tain had adorably tiny sushi.

I ordered an eggplant and rocket tart.

And Mum had roast pumpkin pizza. No surprise that the food was really yum.

There was also a random -- yet friendly -- bear.

Mum and I were both weirdly under the weather, so we didn't do much other than eat, browse books, and stroll. But it was still nice -- a perfect let's-pretend-it's-spring day.

We didn't "come in and rest" but Tain was in a reverent mood and wanted to survey the interior of the church in a soulful way.

There was also some afternoon tea involved (I realise how this looks but I swear we didn't just eat all day long!).

Lemon and lime cheesecake, anyone?

Mum paparazzi'd her banoffee pie.

On the way home there were amazing clouds, and in between all of that there were beautiful gifts, and happy text messages, and kind phone calls, and facebook probably broke because of all the posts on my wall, and none of it was deserved but every bit of it was really, truly appreciated the end.

Project 52: ten

2011-08-14T22:58:00.002+10:00

Reflections, Manly marina.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Rebecca -- yay! I hope you enjoy Josh Garrels :).

BushMaid -- thank you for the birthday wishes. x

Samantha R -- thanks for the birthday love! x

on repeat: white owl

2011-08-09T23:04:00.003+10:00

Josh Garrels' latest album, Love & War & the Sea in Between, was mesmerising from the first play. Sometimes albums take a while to grow on me, but this one has proven to be an instant favourite. I've listened to the first track, White Owl, a ridiculous number of times, and just yesterday I stumbled across this beautiful animation. It's the perfect complement to the song; together, they create a whimsical and haunting parable that soars. It makes me think of a reimagined Pilgrim's Progress. I'm really loving it.

By the way, you can download the whole album for free through NoiseTrade. This, in itself, is very cool, and I think it says a lot about Josh Garrels as a Christian artist. Bravo!

* * * * *

Conversations:

Jessica -- hey, thanks for your comment!

Staish -- yay poetic reciprocation!!

Laura Elizabeth -- yippee Ira Glass fans! WOOOO! And the Moth! Do we like all the same media? Oh, and I owe you an email enthusiastically discussing Jane Eyre and possible viewing thereof!

Bethany -- thank you :).

Samantha R -- exactly! :)

Cara -- I hope you get lots of culinary inspiration from that blog. It actually makes me hungry :). Much love to you!

Project 52: nine

2011-08-07T22:23:00.003+10:00

Stradbroke Island, looking west.
[Bonus: looking east]

* * * * *

Conversations:

Samantha R -- I guess the beauty of a project like this is that we can make up our own rules and change it up a little when it's needed. I'm like you; some weeks it feels so easy and then other weeks it's a genuine challenge / Yes, Lauz's nursing apron was made by my sister Andrea. Everyone comments on it; it's so cute and practical!

Laura Elizabeth -- Yes!! This is the awesome thing: we can each interpret the project in a fun way / Ah, North & South! LOVE. It's probably one of my favourites EVER. And here's a surprise: even my dad likes it. I've shown it to several guys who enjoyed it, which is rare for a BBC drama. Oh, and yes, I have quite the soft spot for StJohn, too. I guess I like my gentlemen a little more open and upfront, less emo and brooding.

Staish -- Mum still wants poems, too :). It's a good challenge, so I hope to keep sharing them, perhaps just to a less rigid schedule. By the way, I miss your poems.

Un -- Okay, we HAVE to go to Noop next time you are up. AK would totally love it, too (girls' day!!). And your reference to Tain the Bandit made me quite literally LOL. :D :D :D

Project 52: an update [2]

2011-08-06T23:18:00.003+10:00

You might've noticed -- although you probably didn't -- that there was no Project 52 post last weekend. Partly that was because it was a bustling weekend full of happy activity, and partly because my whole 52 Moments project is having something of an identity crisis.

My problem is simply this: the whole picture-with-poem thing doesn't seem to work very well with my stated theme which is, of course, about the small moments that stand out each week. While I've been relishing the challenge of writing a poem every week (and sometimes it's been about as easy as, I don't know, hand-numbering the pages of the OED), often times the poem that appears will require some floaty, generic picture. Or else, the picture itself tells the whole story and no poem is required. It's as though one cancels out the other.

So I am left with, I think, just one or the other. And because pictures seem to connect more with readers (and blogs are about the readers, otherwise we're all just keeping weird journals on the internet), and because I want to become better at taking them, maybe... I'll just stick to images?

You can see how convinced I am of this by my own question mark. I'm willing to be swayed either way. What do you think? And for those of you who are also embarking of the Project 52 idea, how's it been going for you?

[lately] pre-birthday @ noop

2011-08-06T22:06:00.004+10:00

The last few days have been ones of goodbyes. Yesterday, we said goodbye to my brother Nick as he headed back home to WA after his week of chilling and family time here. And today we said goodbye to my sister Lauren and her little family as they headed off to spend three weeks with the New Zealand Friends And Relations. Since Abby is only twelve weeks old, three weeks is a quarter of her life so far -- she'll be a different person when she returns!

My birthday falls during their time away, so Lauren planned a little pre-birthday afternoon tea at Noop, her latest local discovery. It was a great little place, and rare in that all of the baked goods (and there were so many AMAZING sweet and pretty things) are baked locally, instead of being shipped in from somewhere else. I hate going to cafes and seeing the same row of generic cheesecakes and mud cakes which could be bought anywhere (including McDonald's) so it was awesome seeing a little coffee shop doing their own thing and doing it nicely.

Peanut butter chocolate ganache cheesecake? Uh huh.

My lunch: ham and cheese toastie and peach iced tea.

Milkshakes are automatically cooler when they come with two straws -- and those amazing metal cups you can use to top up your glass with.

Some of the birthday treats Lauren spoilt me with: the first issue of new Feast magazine, Leeland's Love Is On the Move album, and Caramello Nibbles. Not pictured: adorable moccasin ugg boots.

I love my family!

[some images by Lauz]

* * * * *

Conversations:

BushMaid -- life is indeed wonderful and busy just now :). And yay you hosting a story writing contest! I hope it goes brilliantly and you get to read lots of great stories from entrants.

Samantha R -- I always wish I had more time for journalling. I'm so disappointed to have had that habit fall by the wayside in more recent years. In a sense, blogging has taken its place, but I still miss the unguarded mind-bomb that journalling can be.

Katie -- I'm loving the photography focus on your blog. I feel like I learn lots from your picture-taking; you always have something cool to share!

Laura Elizabeth -- isn't it weird, this love-hate relationship with study? I really do love it, and yet it IS a massive job and can be a pretty huge stress factor. Oh strange contradictory life! Ah yes, StJohn!! I kind of don't want Jamie Bell to play StJohn because he's always been a bit of a noob in any of the Jane Eyre film adaptations. Are you going to go see it? PS. Received email! Loved email! Replied to email!

Rach da Axe -- so the sun has found its way down to you, too? Yay!

Staish -- ooh, you may have some textbooks I could use! Yes! I will ogle them accordingly next time I see you.

Eweight -- oh do it, do it!! And then we could compare notes! And be, like, at the same school and stuff :).

Asea -- PhD applicationsssss! Woohoo! I wish you success. And I'll have to lurk your facebook piccies and be all jealous of your homeland explorations.

hello, august!

2011-08-03T12:23:00.003+10:00

Hello new month. Hello new school semester. Hello new haircut. Hello, sunshine.

Wow. This week has been sprinkled in the most amazing, incredible sunshine. Winter? Hardly. On Monday, Mum, Nick, Tain and I sat out on picnic rugs and ate sundaes from McDonald's. Yesterday, we spent the afternoon on an island, and travelled home by water taxi as the sun set behind the mangroves (there will be pictures -- lots of them). Today is just as luscious but I am yet to explore its full potential as I've been trying to make up for all the gallivanting and Actually Do Some Work, which means inside, at a desk, on the computer.

It's the first week of August and the first week of second semester. I can hardly believe I'm into the final year of my bachelor degree. After this semester, just three more subjects and then I'm done! I've started researching graduate programs but at the moment I'm really just enjoying that beginning-of-semester newness -- ordering textbooks, working out assignments due (two entire typed A4 pages listing assignments due. Eek!), wrapping my brain around the subjects.

As always, the selection of subjects has me excited (and my excitement translates into: you get to read about it. Oh goodie). This semester I'm taking:

History and Literature of the Medieval and Renaissance Periods -- how all of this can be condensed into one subject I do not know, but I'm looking forward to finding out. Stories and history together = awesomeness.
The Bible as Literature -- I think this'll be delightful and challenging. I love that the primary textbook is by Leland Ryken and I've chosen to do a book by Friedrich Buechner for one of the book-related assignments. Yum.
Exploring the Christian Faith -- this one's a course in the core ideas of Christian theology. It looks to be very meaty with lots of reading, lots of thinking, and lots of assignments. I have a feeling this one will stretch me but keep me intrigued, too.
Writing the Short Story -- since I'm majoring in creative writing, it's probably no surprise that the writing subjects prove to be my favourites every semester. The short story is a form that I've slowly been growing to love, and I appreciate that this subject is based around reading and analysing lots of great short stories as well as learning to write them. Among the assignments due for this subject are four short stories, so I'll be kept on my toes. And I also have to keep a creative journal which is thrilling to me because I'm a complete journal nerd.

What new challenges are keeping you on your toes lately? What are you loving reading or learning about? And if you could make up your own niche degree to study (absolutely anything), what subjects would you choose?

* * * * *

Conversations:

BushMaid -- it really is! And I love how every meeting of someone new becomes its own cool story.

Caitlin -- THE CHEEKS THE CHEEKS! They are her talent and her gift.

Laura Elizabeth -- the headband was originally so people would know she was actually a girl, but now I suspect she asks to wear it ;). The Eagle arrived today! I shall share my response to it with you. Here's hoping it's okay!

Carla -- aaaah! I had thought about Meaghan being an aunty but I hadn't thought about Lachlan being an uncle! How cute!

Rebecca Simon -- those boys are all going to be clones when they're old men :).

We Three -- hugs right back at you! And aren't cheeks just the cutest thing on chubby babies? (Also, I owe you an email) xx

Staish -- <3 <3 <3 Hearts will have to suffice because words fail. I'm so blessed by you.

Chantel -- the cheeks are immensely squishable. I squish them A LOT.

Eweight -- YES!

Weekend XXX :: uncle nick

2011-08-01T16:36:00.002+10:00

My brother Nick is in town for a week, supposedly to catch up with everyone but really to meet the new little pork chop. On Sunday, we all had a family picnic together, and Nick got to spend some quality time with Abby Victoria. Things went along swimmingly.

And Abby thought the attention was grand -- at least for a little while.

But eventually it was all too much. She Is Not Amused.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Katie -- I can relate to that, too. So many of my dearest friends are ones I met online. One of them (hello, Ruth!) I met when she lived in far NSW but now we're both south east Queenslanders. It's very cool. Hopefully you, too, will end up with an excellent online buddy right around the corner (and I mean that in the least weird way possible)!

Laura Elizabeth -- I still haven't found The Eagle available ANYWHERE in Australia but I finally caved and ordered it from Amazon UK. I hope it arrives this week! I've lurked a few YouTube clips which of course are all a bit slashy owing to the bromantic nature of the story and I like what I've seen. I hope it's not too terrible!

Jessica -- it's definitely a cool story. It amazes me still, now, four years later! Haha and you're right about the 'present husband' bit. I amended it a little ;).

Mothercare -- she is :)

Rebecca Simon -- yes, it's such an awesome little present from God! I'm amazed how many people I've met long distance who have become friends to keep in touch with throughout all the new seasons of life -- you included!

Bek Axe -- YOU are the seriously cool one.

[lately] skate park

2011-07-30T15:11:00.005+10:00

I don't know if I've ever told the story here about how I met my incredible friend Anastasia. The short version is: we met online. But not only does that sound weird and possibly a bit creepy, it also fails to tell the full story. Basically, we were both part of a LiveJournal community dedicated to keeping handwritten journals. Staish's pages were amazing, sprinkled with prayer poems and beautiful handwriting, and (yes, this part is possibly a bit creepy) I kept coming back to her posts when I needed fresh inspiration for my own journalling. It was evident she was in love with Jesus and exuded creativity.

From there, we became actual LiveJournal buddies and then MySpace pals (back in the day, hey?). We were commenting back and forth on MySpace one day when I informed Staish I'd be moving from WA to Queensland. 'Where in Queensland?' she commented back. 'Brisbane,' I said. 'Dude, I live in Brisbane!' was Staish's reply. Then I realised my mistake and amended it: 'Actually, it's [little suburb south of the city]'. The next reply from Staish: 'I LIVE THERE!' Sure enough, in what can only be a God thing, Anastasia lived five minutes down the road from my family's new home in Queensland. Crazy, crazy stuff.

We talked about meeting up and then one morning I found a package in my letterbox with a map to Staish's church -- attached, with ribbons, to a block of chocolate. Then followed incredibly awkward trepidation pre in-person meet-up followed by amazed and bewildered joy as we realised we could be Real Life Friends in even greater measure than online buddies.

It continues to amaze me that God could randomly introduce such a spectacular person in such a neat way. Now, I experience withdrawals if I don't get catch up with Staish once a week. We talk about books and God and her present and always husband and my future one. We watch movies and do craft and gush over Moleskines and laugh at awkward things and both love art and teenage fiction. Anastasia is a blessing in my life and I'm so so pleased God introduced us.

And I guess I got a little carried away because that was really meant to be an intro to our afternoon expedition taking pictures at the skate park near Staish's house. Never mind: people are always the real story, right?

* * * * *

Conversations:

Caitlin -- I'm making handwritten notes of all the posts I want to write ;)

Katie -- I don't think I realised how easy wireless makes things until here I have it again and it's bliss!

Laura Elizabeth -- good observation skilz! I was definitely being photobombed in my own house. Tain was proud of his ability to make it in the shot (again and again!). Also, I am an intense nerd so I loved that your comment included homework for me. My definition of RALIOISM is: the state of fustration which occurs when your attempts at a picture are repeatedly thwarted by photobombing attacks.

Un -- I'm back!

Carla -- internet, I love thee!

Samantha R -- I missed being more caught up on everyone's worlds. Really looking forward to being better at staying in touch. xx

Well hey

2011-07-28T15:08:00.003+10:00

Remember those ads which said This Is Your Brain, On Speed? Well This Is My Face, On Wireless. Yes, after four months, the Housie has connectivity. There are some bugs to be ironed out (too SLOW, with the occasional entire drop-out of internet all together), but we HAVE internet. More than that, however, I also have neighbours -- my parents and smallest brother have finally moved into the main house next door to the Housie. I want to call it The Big House, but that has jailbird undertones, and The Mansion sounds too pretentious. Regardless, they're here, and we're all looking forward to life resuming some aspects of normalcy. I'm also looking forward (optimistically) to spamming you with all the posts I've written in my head lately. Stay tuned.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- you're really too nice! I love that about poetry -- that it's possible to connect with the words without always understanding the story or true significance underneath them.

Samantha R -- YES. Exactly. <3

Project 52: seven

2011-07-25T14:32:00.002+10:00

I crave belonging (I suspect we all do).
We hunt it out wherever it is to be found.
We band together in tightening circles
And bear the marks of our believed belonging in
The intricate carvings on our skins,
The unparalleled symmetry of our faces,
Our shared seeming inability to belong,
Or the fact that he said, ‘you, too?’

We search for our best fit—
A tiny head nestled into mama’s collarbone;
His hand in yours like hook with eye;
The three of you slunk against a rusted rail,
Together looking outward.

And sometimes we find it, but sometimes we don’t
(or we do, and it no longer fits).
The belonging we stretch for
Falls just outside our reach
Or abrades, coarse surface to coarse surface.
And we are homesick
Though this is where we’re meant to be.

Take your heart and wade on with courage
Through present tension to future tense.
We are rooted in earth but ethereal
Never full belonging
Where we won’t be long.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Samantha R -- you said it beautifully :)

Asea -- I heartily recommend the Crafternoon -- as heartily as I recommend trips to Australia :D

Project 52: six

2011-07-18T21:47:00.003+10:00

You know how, in this world of swiftly-shifting modes of social interaction and everyone so busy being somebody that sometimes it's hard to be us (like two or three people, themselves, together), it seems like there are more missed connections than caught ones, more awkwardness than ease, and it sometimes makes you wonder (though you know you're being more than just a little Eeyore) if anyone really finds each other any more? Well, they do.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Samantha R -- thank you, friend. xx

Eweight -- thanks, lovely. xx

Ruth -- ah, what gave you the idea that I'm not in love with the fine establishment known as Sizzler? ;)

Rebecca Simon -- I wish you could come along to one of our crafternoons :)

Katie -- it is indeed a fun way to spend an afternoon. :)

Harri -- you're my original crafternoon buddy!!! How I wish we could have one together now :). Yes, that's Abby. Isn't she a little chubbykins?

Laura Elizabeth -- I'm devastated! I just saw a book for sale called Kids' Crafternoons! I wanted that word to be alllll ours!

Crafternoon!

2011-07-13T22:47:00.003+10:00

One of the things on my holiday wishlist was to launch Crafternoons at the Housie -- and last week, the first one happened. There were sweet cupcakes, a sweet baby, and some sweet crafting action. My mum worked on her wholecloth quilt while my sister Lauren made baby thank you cards. Staish cut pieces for some adorable strings of bunting, and I played with my art journal and some stitchery work. Happy days!

* * * * *

Conversations:

Un -- Tain wouldn't have even noticed :D

Mothercare -- :D

Laura Elizabeth -- the lucky is all on my side. He's so hilarious and fun :D.

Staish -- I get to see you tomorrow! And thank you for your always beautiful words.

Rebecca Simon -- <3

Project 52: five

2011-07-12T11:27:00.002+10:00

This isn't the best photo.
You are high on Pepsi Max
and on life
and there's a cut on your lip
from shaving
(oh yes, this just in: you shave now).

You like Batman figurines,
the Wiggles, John Wayne,
Little House on the Prairie,
and you shave.

You chose to go to Sizzler,
oh most classy of establishments,
and I suspect the attraction
is not the food itself but the fact
that you are allowed to walk right up
to that creepy health hazard of a buffet
and serve the food all on your own
and onto your own plate
--as much as you want.
Am I right?

You are very much thirteen in this regard.
But you also talk about getting married
and having a job someday (farming and
being president are two favourite options)
and you like wearing slippers with that hideous dressing gown
that looks like someone wrapped you in a dead bear,
so occasionally you are also fifty-five.

But you are still a fan of snuggles
and Bob the Builder
and if you're being too bouncy,
your bedtime is nearer 7.30 than 8.
So in some ways, you will always be
six years old.
But in every way, you will always be
my littlest brother
and I'm thankful that your birth mother
chose to share you with us
twelve years ago.

* * * * *

Conversation:

Mothercare -- sadly they're dying now. I always hang onto fresh flowers too long.

Samantha R -- it really does look like Autumn! I'm guessing because maybe this Queensland winter is closer to Autumn in other cooler parts of Australia.

Laura Elizabeth -- absolutely!! are you on holidays now, too? I do hope so!

Un -- I'm glad we chatted yesterday :)

Happy golden days

2011-07-09T13:20:00.004+10:00

Sorry to have gone all ninja on you and disappeared from the blog. First, I was sick. Then, I was, you know, on holidays. It's been nice. Some of the stuff that's been happening includes:

• starting books and actually finishing them
• a crafternoon! (pictures to come)
• trying to keep alive the tiny herb garden my mum made for me
• hanging out with my family
• squishing my niece
• sleeping in
• watching some good DVDs
• shopping for a wedding outfit and finding one, with only a hint of tears
• actually doing some novel rewriting
• tidying and cleaning the Housie
• movie night and black forest trifle with lovely girlfriends

and

• finding beautiful bouquets of flowers on sale for ridiculously cheap prices

What's new with you?

* * * * *

Conversations:

Katie -- it seems the ideal garden for a slow graduation into new seasons. While some of the trees are losing their leaves, others are just turning, and still others already have new buds. It's lovely.

Laura Elizabeth -- yes! Nights are cold and the days are sunny. It's practically perfect! And thank you for your lovely words re. the project 52 post. I have to come and lurk yours (my internet is being a pain; it's disconnected three times just in the writing of this post, requiring a restart of my computer before it would even connect again. GRRR!).

Winter at the Housie

2011-07-05T20:12:00.004+10:00

I was going to make a more thoughtful post today, but being a bit under the weather has melted my brain. Instead, I'll share with you some pictures of winter at the Housie. Since moving to Queensland four and a bit years ago, I've lamented the fact that the seasons pass by almost unrecognised here in Brisbane. Things are either green, or not, it seems. And I miss the beautiful liquid amber tree from my childhood home in the Hunter Valley; it was like a perfect barometer of the changing seasons. However, I was obviously not looking in the right places because here in the garden, winter is shouting in all its most glorious colours -- and sharply, too, as my mum has been digging and weeding and trimming and dead-heading and spreading and everything is looking lovely.

Winter foliage. Mmhmm.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Un -- :) Memories...

Elisabeth -- you are a sweet friend! x

Abbie -- This: There's so much to learn as we travel along, isn't there? And learning to treasure very moment, every season, every good or bad, is something I need to learn most of all. So true. And you didn't ramble at all; longer comments are a treat :). It was great to see you briefly for coffee and chats and smiles. xx

Bloss -- a treasured comment from you! Thank you! xx It's so strange to suddenly realise that we're no longer waiting to grow up or trying to put it off; it happened when none of us were looking, and it's a different place to be, and a challenging place to be, but a great place nonetheless. I'm so glad you could relate. Bless you!

Katie -- so considerate of him! little Daniel is already being a thoughtful young man.

Harri -- letterssssss! YAY! <3 you.

Project 52: two [three, four]

2011-07-03T11:23:00.004+10:00

Friday: we are little girls, dreaming, dawdling, playing, and promising never to be grown ups, never to sit around and just talk. Saturday: we talk, sometimes, but we still know how to build treehouses and lay hidden in the overgrown green of the next-door paddock. Sunday: we forget our promises never to be grown ups because it happens, almost, when we are not looking. Someday: someday is here, and I have grey hairs, and I cry, but not just about the grey hairs. It is someday and it's not what we expected. It's harder than we expected and it's worse than we expected. But it's easier than we expected, and it's better than we expected. Someday: and there are other little girls, and they are our little girls. One of them dreams and dawdles and plays and wants to be grown up right now. We could not slow the growing up down, and she cannot speed it up. She looks at us and wonders why we just sit around and talk. But we realise now that it's exactly what we want to do, and it is good.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Samantha R -- :D :D :D thank you, friend! He's a doll.

Un -- it really was :D. xx

Rebecca Simon -- yes, sorry it didn't happen! We almost got to organise something with you but plans changed before I could text. We WILL catch up sometime, I am sure!

Adventuring.

2011-07-02T13:08:00.007+10:00

Two weeks was a long time to be away from home, but a short time to be with my sister, Andrea, and her precious little family. I'm fumbling around for the right words to aptly summarise two weeks of getting to hang out and chat with a sister I see all too little, and making better and better friends with my first niece and nephew. Amelia and I were already BFFs (sharing a fondness for journals, coloured pencils, and costume jewellery, though at four she already has better taste than me), but Mitchell, now two-and-a-half, took a little more convincing. On the first day, he responded to my anecdote about seeing an owl on a signpost with the blunt shut-down, "That's not exciting." But by the next day, he told me I was his "best best friend" and shouted, "I LOVE you staying here till the baby comes out!"

Which is the real reason behind my visit: to be there as aunt/babysitter when small person no. 3 made his or her arrival. Only said small person was none too quick about arriving and its due date slipped past with nary a peep. We filled in the blanks by exploring the little snowfields town my sister lives in, tripping out for a day to Canberra to see the war memorial and the luscious streets lined with bare-bones winter trees. We had coffee (twice) at our favourite little providore, and both times we managed to get a table right by the open fire. We knitted (well, Andrea did) and read (well, I did), and Sam introduced me to the dorky entertainment that is The Scrapheap Challenge. I laughed over and over again at the amazingly witty things coming out of small niece and nephew's mouths, and we generally tried to ignore the fact that baby no. 3 might not actually arrive before I had to fly home again.

Andrea walked over hill and dale in an attempt to keep moving and possibly nudge baby on into the world, but all seemed useless. It was snug in there; who'd want to face a southern winter anyway, right? But one afternoon, Andrea and I sat down to watch The Little Kidnappers, a movie we'd loved when we were small and which we were hoping would stand the test of time. We weren't five minutes in when Andrea leapt off the couch quite suddenly. It was happening.

Just after midnight, with Amelia and Mitchell sound asleep, my phone rang (I should probably change my ringtone from the Batman theme soon) and Andrea was there, telling me that there is a new little man in the world, and his name is Daniel.

In spite of our complaints, Daniel's timing was perfect. And he is perfect -- already a golden child, so content and snuggly, and looking a lot like his dad. I had five days to enjoy him before I had to fly home, and it was an honour to be able to be there for his first few days of life this side of the womb. Though we never did get to finish watching The Little Kidnappers.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- I know, right? Two babies in two months is quite incredible! PS. Thank you for missing me in blogland. I felt all warm and fuzzy :).

Staish -- alas! In the post-trip suitcase weigh-in, the red coat got thrown aside on account of IT WAS TOO HEAVY.

Katie -- thank you!

Cara -- new small people for both of us! Yay!

Amanda -- I'll be posting more at LJ :)

Samantha -- thank you, lovely. Thinking of you today. x

brb

2011-06-14T16:46:00.001+10:00

So long for a fortnight, folks!

I have packed gloves and a fire engine red coat and I'm heading down south to be with my sister and her little family while they await the arrival of a bran noo bebe! I'll catch up on Project 52 when I return. Keep smiling!

Stitching love

2011-06-13T17:50:00.002+10:00

For me, one of the neatest things about being involved in the world of patchwork and quilting was the connection with those who might be inspired by one of my designs. I found it incredibly cool to see how someone else interpreted one of my designs or used it as the starting point for something else. I’m not actively involved in quilt design these days (for now) but the happy connections still trickle in occasionally.

Last September I received an email from Janet in New Zealand. She had picked up volume 8 #4 of Country Patchwork & Quilting while in Queensland on business and hoped to make my Paradise Quilt for her new granddaughter, Plum (best name ever, yes?). Back in New Zealand, she gathered the materials and took them, pattern and all, to visit Plum’s family. But a flash flood hit the car and, though Janet survived, her patterns were soaked. She emailed asking if I could send a copy of the pattern. Of course I could.

A few days ago, I received another email from Janet. She’s completed the quilt and little Plum is now its delighted owner. Janet attached pictures and I was so delighted with how she interpreted the design. Appropriately, Janet has used plum tones and referred to the nursery rhyme ‘I had a little nut tree’ to add quirky variations to the tree. She also replaced the birds of paradise with ‘festival kiwis’, designed by Plum’s father for the Wellington International Festival of the Arts some years ago. Janet writes that the original version of the festival kiwis ‘had a kiwi with nikau feathers attached as its tail (kiwis don’t have a tail)’.

The final result is amazing. I love that Janet shared her end product with me and I love that this is a quilt with true history and significance – an artwork that tells a story of a little girl’s origins and a grandma’s love. Which, to me, is basically what quiltmaking is all about.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- oh have I ever seen the half-season finale of Doctor Who!! Eeh, such a twist! I was quite delighted and shocked. (PS. freeform poetry all the way! I was incredibly nervous about writing and sharing the poem -- free verse! so pretentious! so ridiculous! -- but I feel like that's all part of the challenge.

Samantha R -- Thank you so much for your encouragement. I'm sure I wouldn't have even tried this had it not been for your enthusiasm when I discussed it :).

Asea -- ooh, I have not read The Trumpet of the Swan. Must find!

Staish -- (and I you!)

Project 52: one

2011-06-12T18:58:00.004+10:00

It is a kind of familiar, friendly pain,
this stretching of unlimber muscles.
Mind reaches into memory and beyond it
into words, straining after significance.

I breathe heavy, bearing the weight of moments,
shifting them from hand to hand.
I balance images:
one, a laughing boy pressed nose to window;
two, thoughtless words like footprints
trampled without care over someone's heart
(from hindsight, they resemble regrets);
three, a fuschia, feathered sky.

I juggle them from mind to memory
and fumble for a unity to bind them/
bear their weight.
No matter; life is its own poem.

[tentative beginnings]

* * * * *

Conversations:

Rebecca Simon -- ah, Jim and Wally are such fabulous guys! Now I want to re-read all the books. Immediately.

Samantha R -- I know what you mean. I just had to pick five of the many books that have influenced me. There are probably hundreds!

Asea -- those are some fantastic people to visit! Ah, and I love Strunk & White. Those guys are amazing. I didn't realise for so long that the White half of the equation was E.B. White, author of Charlotte's Web and Stuart Little. Oh, and I really want to read that Brian McLaren book!

Bethany -- I truly recommend them all. :)

BushMaid -- ah, I have lost count of how many times I've read Stepping Heavenward. It always inspires me to be zealous about my journal-writing and to record the real life adventures of faith.

Five books that changed who I am:

2011-06-11T17:50:00.009+10:00

Bethany tagged me for participation in a book meme and I'm happy because talking about books + filling out memes = my kind of fun.

If it were even possible to compile a complete list of the books that formed and shaped me, I'm sure it would contain dozens of titles. Books have shaped so much about who I am. They've opened my eyes to truth, taken me to places I'm far too much of a wimp to go to, chastened me for being such a wimp, and helped me discover the beauty of words. I devoured books when I was a girl. Now, I chew more slowly but I love them just as much. Here are just five of the many I have been fed by:

1) The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom. I've read this many times since I was in my early teens. It's the true story of one family's loving defiance against Hitler's anti-Semitism in World War II, their own tiny world war waged by hiding Jews in a secret space in their home in Holland. Their defiance came at a great price, but it also resulted in great faith. I wish I could do this book justice in my brief review, but I can't. Honestly life-changing.

2) Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot. I've read this one multiple times, too, and every re-reading provides me with something new as well as a fresh dose of wisdom and passion. Although some will argue with me (I'm looking at you, Anastasia Lambert!), this book is incredibly romantic with a unique authenticity and genuineness. It has changed who I am by exposing me to new thoughts about love and romance -- true love, which is so much more than happily ever after -- and pointing me back to the Author of it all.

3) A Chance to Die by Elisabeth Elliot. This is Elliot's biography of feisty, courageous Amy Carmichael, a poet who crossed oceans and cultures to break down the boundaries of caste exclusion and rescue young Indian girls from temple prostitution -- all of this in an era when frank discussions of sexual crime were highly taboo, especially from a middle-class, church-going single lady. Amy Carmichael said that she would rather burn out than rust out, and her burning is a challenge to my cravings for comfort and ease. [edit: Elliot's autobiography? I must have been half asleep]

4) On Writing Well by William Zinsser. This 'classic guide to writing nonfiction' might seem an unlikely inclusion in a list so far dominated by thoughtful discussions on life and faith, but writing is a big part of who I am, and this book has molded that to some extent. It's a brilliant handbook on the craft of writing and, though it has a decidedly journalistic focus, its sage advice rings true whether you write stories, review records, or scribble plays. Obviously, I'm still a work in progress as far as writing is concerned; this is evident by the fact that I crammed three cliches into two successive sentences. Awesome.

5) The Billabong Books by Mary Grant Bruce. Any number of books could also have gone here in the list, the spot reserved for fiction that I consumed like a starving creature as a young teen. But the Billabong Books (yes, I'm cheating by including a whole series here) are special in that they are so distinctly Australian. They are not brilliant works of literature (though they are good) and yes, they're decidedly dated when it comes to issues such as race, class, and gender, but they preserve so much from an amazing period in Australia's history. Written from about 1915 to 1940, they cover war, the depression, and the remarkable shifts in culture and society in Australia during that time. They are also wholesome, good fun adventure books which made me proud to be an Aussie kid. I read these books so many times I'm sure I could quote whole passages even now. They made me love living in a rural area, they made me love story-writing, and they made me wish I had an awesome older brother. Where is my Jim?

What would be on your list? I love talking books so I am opening this meme up to everyone. I tag you alllll! If you don't have a blog, feel free to leave your reply as a comment.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Laura Elizabeth -- YES. I love the clashing, joyful riot of colours that God puts together in nature. So unlikely and yet so right.

Samantha R -- it's so hard to get good shots when you're powering through the countryside :).

Project 52: an update

2011-06-10T19:20:00.004+10:00

Yay! More people are joining the fun of Project 52! Laura, Jessica, and Chantel are also coming along for the ride, which will only make the journey cooler.

If you want to play along, it's not too late. There are no hard and fast rules and it's super easy: simply settle on a theme you want to explore, and post your first photo (plus poem, if you're going that route) sometime over this weekend. If you title or label your posts with 'project 52', it'll be easier for other bloggers to find you and potentially play along as well. I can't wait to see how this project opens our eyes to the wonderful treasures that are scattered throughout the everyday.

PS. How incredibly amazing is tonight's sunset? Eat your heart out, Crayola.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Chantel -- yay! I'm so happy you're joining us!

Katie -- and scarves! Winter provides so many more opportunities for layering and accessorising.

Asea -- you went to Albrecht Durer's house? YOU WENT TO ALBRECHT DURER'S HOUSE? *sigh* And a package came from you the very day after I received your comment! *joyful dance*

Samantha R -- suddenly I'm heaping extra blankets onto my bed and wearing double layers of pyjamas :).

Laura Elizabeth -- this does NOT feel like Queensland, right? And it feels colder than the actual temperature, as well. What is going on?