Wednesday, February 19, 2014
A note about time:
Sometimes I dread the passing of time because it takes me closer and closer to the things that worry me, terrify me, or make me sad. I wake up in the morning, not excited because a new day is here, fresh and unspoilt, but because the new day says, "We are one day away from the doctor's appointment that makes you nervous. We are two days away from that deadline being overdue. We are one week away from that uncomfortable conversation you are going to need to have with someone. We are a month away from you trying that new thing that makes your very fingertips shake with trepidation and the muscles of your arm feel limp and weak. We are one year away from you being exactly the same person you are right now, unchanged, not developed by the life you are supposed to be living."
Time can be such a hard taskmaster.
But it is worth remembering that time, the very same passing of seconds and minutes and hours and days that pulls nearer the things we dread, also pulls nearer the things we cherish the most. Some of them are big things. Some of them are small. Some of them come intertwined with the things we fear. Some of them stand alone. But they are good things. Like new people you don't even know, just waiting to be met. Like new accomplishments. Like your best friend marrying the love of her life. Like your brother marrying the love of his. Like new books written by your favourite author. Like new discoveries. Like getting to see your grandparents with all their children gathered around them. Like the sequel to your favourite movie coming out at the cinema. Like Autumn, followed by Winter.
Each day that passes is a day closer to the thing that makes your stomach curl up in knots. But it is also a day closer to the next time your little niece and little nephew get to meet each other and twine their fat little hands together.
Time is not always cruel. Sometimes it is the friendliest thing in the world.