I haven't replied to your letter because life is busy.
I haven't sat down and read a book because life is busy.
I haven't kicked the soccer ball around with my brother because life is busy.
I haven't written in my journal because life is busy.
I haven't composed a blog post because life is busy.
Today I was thinking about that, because just now it's busy with the sort of busyness that makes you lie awake of evenings alternately panicking in case everything doesn't get done in time and then asking yourself if maybe none of it matters that much and you should just sleep in instead and spend all afternoon making ruched fabric flowers. The thing is, life is always going to be busy. If it isn't busyness coming at you externally, it'll be the sort of busyness that you intentionally surround yourself with. Because being busy means you have a job and a life and a network of people that mean something. Things are happening.
And if things are happening, it means you are living life. This is what I am beginning to realise. And if you are living life, you want to make time to do the things that bring life.
Jesus once challenged the Pharisees because they were hung up on following the letter of the law and keeping their tithes managed to the neatest fraction of measurement, yet completely forgot the stuff like loving people and caring about justice. He didn't want to them to ditch the former, but He wanted them to also be engaged in the latter. "These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others," He said in Luke 11:42.
I'm beginning to sense that things won't ever slow down. Something else will always come up. The key, I think, is to stop waiting for this to be done or that to be over, and start existing in the present. That means scheduling in, if necessary, time for people and creativity and sitting on the grass.
This is the realisation I am slowly coming to. I am only at the realisation stage. I have no idea how to actually do this. How do you do what needs doing, while also making time for what you should be doing? I don't know. But I want to learn. I want to learn to live where I am instead of looking ahead all the time, to do these, without neglecting the others.