Tuesday, May 24, 2011

This monster ain't under the bed.

You’d think that, having faced the beast four times already, I’d be totally ready to go head to head with the monster at the end of the semester. Apparently not so. Today it returned, grinning evilly, and I failed to meet it with grace and gumption.

The thing is, I’m most content when life has variety and balance. A bit of socialisation, a bit of hermiting. A bit of chaos, a bit of calm. A bit of work, a bit of play. A bit of hurry, a bit of slow. I struggle when any one thing becomes all-encompassing and the other things have to be put to the side for a while. And the problem is that the end of semester is completely all-encompassing. Every spare moment seems focussed just on seeing out a deadline, which doesn’t feel at all like what life (or learning, for that matter) should be about. Don’t get me wrong; I love the study and I love the work – I just don’t love it being the only thing that’s going on. And I struggle with guilt when I say no to things that are good things and things I want to do, or when I have to put time with others on some sort of schedule. In my perfect world of idealism, you don’t fit people into your life; you fit your life into people.

Anyway, so all that resulted in the end-of-semester monster rearing its head which really looked like me having a day of polar opposite behaviours – diligence and procrastination, laughing and crying, power-talk and whining. However, a bunch of things conspired to turn my frown upside down. One is the delicious (and half-empty, in the picture) creme brulee frappe that my sister brought to me out of the blue. Mmmm! Also, in the background, beautiful new rug on sort of loan basis from Mum and Dad. It's so cosy!

Then there's this honeycomb sundae that my Mum fed to me, post Thai dinner date. I rarely have icecream because I'm not a huge fan of it, but the upside of that is that when I do have icecream, I'm really in the mood for it.

This guy with his cool shirt and his spiky do always brightens my days.

And this is my Mum/counsellor/friend/psychiatrist who is possibly also related to Mother Theresa.

Also, a game of kid's monopoly made me laugh. Big bucks, my friends.

And these two, one of whom turns out to be an excellent, relaxed mum and the other of whom turns out to resemble a koala and alternately impersonates the pope, a drunken hobo, a lucky cat with that waving arm motion, and an angry samurai warrior, all with the most basic variation of facial expressions.

What helped you to be happy today?

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Conversations:

All of you -- well played, friends. Appreciation of my nieces and nephews guarantees eternal admission to the Society of People Danielle Loves.

9 comments:

  1. Oh dear, I am facing the EXACT same quandry as you. It has been 5years since I last had end of semester tests and now I am back and they are killing me. I have probably cried three times today. And I think I failed my test also :(

    BUT I got to watch Tangled this evening and seeing Maximus and Pascal made me really happy. Like, really really happy. Just have to get up the courage to face tomorrow with my head held high!

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  2. This post made me happy today. :) My end of term monster isn't quite the same variety as the one you're facing . . . just home stretch of last lessons and a recital. The last lessons I can deal with and by suppertime they'll be done - the recital is a different story and I confess I'm not looking forward to it much.
    But your description of Abby Victoria as an angry samurai warrior made me laugh out loud. Not that itty bitty sweetness, surely! :)
    You're in my prayers honey. God's grace is bigger than the monster, and He'll provide the courage you need when you need it. So go forth and conquer!
    Much love,
    Cara

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  3. The end of the term is horrid for teachers, too. But soon you will have time to catch up with everyone! :-)

    It was sunny today, and my little 6-year-old student read a WHOLE book by herself (considering she couldn't even say "Hi" in English 8 months ago, this is noteworthy!), and my friend took me out for sushi. So even though my whole body protests at the stress (I am moving two continents away less than 10 hours after I finish my 3-day 52-hour end of term workweek), I had a happy day.

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  4. You have lots of lovely people around you; supporting you and cheering you on! I know you can do it, girl!!

    And then you will enjoy your break! :)

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  5. YOU!! You made me laugh out loud so many times today. You are good for me.

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  6. Seventh time over and it doesn't get any easier! (Sorry to break it to you :P) Keep at it, little train... I know you can!

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  7. I'm glad you succeeded in defeating the end of semester blues! Those things are devious - I swear they sneak up on you even when you do your best to be prepared.

    The thing that's making me happy today is the fact that I finished writing a short story tonight and I have all of today (or what remains thereof) to edit it. I actually wrote something! A proper something! This is making me very happy indeed.

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  8. Oy.

    So glad you've got such fabulous supporters!

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