and it seems to me the most public thing I ever have done.
One day last week I realised that, lately, I’ve been communicating to you more in pictures than in words. That jarred with me. Words are meant to be my thing. Pictures are the accessory.
Words are my truest language -- at least, that's how I feel. I like talking, but I love writing. Talking is easy and expected and cultural, and society usually thanks us for it. But the most important things I want to say tie up my tongue and choke me. They bring a lump to my throat or contort my face. After all, it’s only in the movies that people really look beautiful when they cry.
Writing, though -- writing is something else. I can think words through. I can pause, re-say things in the clearest way. I can wait, move on, go slowly, totter around chasing after the right phrase. Words are a luxury. And, even though I’m still a newborn in this world of words, writing feels like the nearest I can get to being myself, the most real and honest version of me.
It’s the same with others who find words (on page, on screen) to be their mother tongue. I know these peoples' faces and I know their voices, but I feel like I know the completeness of who they are when I get to read their words, too. Reading them means looking inside of the person, beyond the smile and the face and – permit to be cheesy for just a moment – into their heart.
I think that’s why my current state of relative wordlessness has me floundering. It's like I'm suddenly mute or stumbling around with only a foreign language to get me through.
I was unsettled by it, but I realise now that we're all wordless once in a while. Sooner or later the stories will push their way to the surface. They always do. In the meantime, pictures.
PS. 400th post!
Laura Elizabeth -- I'm glad I'm still doing the March Photo-A-Day thing, but I've found it a lot harder to take creative pictures of the prompt words. My pictures feel bland and boring (especially this week). So maybe that makes you feel happier about not doing it?
Hannah -- ah YES! Embossing on book covers is amazing! I just like running my fingers over lumpy bumpy book covers.
Katie -- glad you enjoyed the pictures! Secretly coveting iPhones and their far superior camera.
Thelittlebluefishy -- I say don't even worry about catching up! Just start from that day's date and then you can enjoy taking pictures without feeling behind. It's so much fun!
Carla -- ashamed to say YES, I do always have that many books on my bedside table. Obviously the selection changes, but it's always that ridiculous.
Un -- that little HEY graffiti always makes me happy :)
Lauren -- absolutely it doesn't matter if it's not the right day! If a rule breaks down the fun factor, get rid of the rule :). I'm happy you're playing along.
Jess Axelby -- baby smiles might just be the best smiles :). Hey, are you blogging your #marchphotoaday pics, or instagramming them or what? I want to lurk!
Elin -- thank you!
Sarah -- my pleasure! Thank you for commenting :)