Project 52: twenty-one

-- new favourite picture of my little bro.

[short + sweet] happies

1. huge thunder claps and heavy, heavy rain.
2. finishing a book I've been reading for a-g-e-s.
3. Sunday afternoon road trips to the coast.
4. an old Greek man singing and mafia bosses dancing along.
5. clearing emails from my inbox.
6. happy LiveJournal comments.
7. family coffee dates.
8. gifs of my little niece eating her own hand.

What's on your happy list today?

[short + sweet] living life

Mary Oliver wrote the “instructions for living a life:” Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it...

I like taking photos, I like writing, and I like telling people about things that I find. I like telling stories on blogs, because truthfully, it’s the best way I know how to.

Here.

It's the final(s) countdown:

Now that we're all singing the same song*, let me say hi. Hi. Let me also apologise for my almost-week-long absence from blogville. Like Spongebob said, it's The Final(s) Countdown here, and I am full blast plowing through two 3000-word essays, two 1500-word short stories, a working journal, and several shorter essays. I have three more weeks of this followed by two weeks of relative ease (just one essay of 1250 words, I think; Henry V, you better watch your back), and then it's over tra la la! for another year.

Running through that list might sound like I take some morbid sort of delight in these impending deadlines, but writing it out actually makes the tasks feel smaller and more manageable. Nevertheless, it's at the all-encompassing tail end of the semester, so my posts over the next few weeks are probably going to be more of the short (definitely) and sweet (hopefully) variety. Just pictures and short words here and there, occasionally. I might also put Conversations on hold until school's over. BUT, this doesn't mean I don't love your comments. So very far from the truth. I do -- I love them a lot. And if you ask questions, I'll reply in a comment myself.

Christmas also feels like it's getting closer, and that makes me so excited. I'm eleven years old, alright? I've started shopping and making lists and I am so looking forward to the idea of nearly ALL my family gathering together for a little summer reunion sometime after Christmas. I don't welcome the humidity, but I welcome everything else that Summer brings. Roll on!

*thanks, Spongebob; I never knew you were the frontman for Europe.

Project 52: twenty

A little note about 52 moments, here at week twenty: I haven't been taking pictures specifically for the project. Rather, at the end of the week, I go through the pictures I've taken in the past seven days, and choose one that fits the sense of... now. Some weeks, like this one, I hardly took any pictures at all, and the ones I did take weren't the greatest quality. Still, this little dandelion says something about the sky and the days and the air heavy with coming summer, so it seems fitting, even if it isn't a remarkable picture.

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Conversations:

Caitlin -- you're right; it is hard to be real. I guess most valuable things take some real effort. I'm encouraged by your comment, so right back at you! (and yes, my Mum is the best :D)

Elisabeth -- glad to have you journeying on this same path. xx

Samantha -- yay! Can't wait to see what you have to share for the passions carnival.

Rebecca Simon -- and now you have the privilege of being that amazing mother-figure to your own little person!

Bethany -- yes yes on all counts! x

Hilla -- hooray for mums! I checked out your blog and I love your watercolour artwork. You have an amazing gift.

Emotions. Who'd have 'em?

It happens with such stunning regularity that I really should quit being surprised. It's like clockwork, actually: I'll publish an article somewhere, about something, and over the next few weeks I will butt heads with that very thing again and again. It's almost (absolutely really very much) like God is saying, 'Are you truly and consistently going to believe what you say you believe?'

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote an article in which I discussed the huge value of authenticity. People being real with other real people is something I'm passionate about, and the article focussed on the importance of not shuffling to cover our flaws but learning to be honest with one another and with God about the less-than-Pollyanna aspects of our lives. Sure enough, the past few weeks (and even during the writing of the article, if I'm being honest), I seem to have been at my most vulnerable worst. My poor mother, oh counsellor of saintly virtue, has borne the major brunt of my blubbering, whining, stressing, and neuroses. And I find myself apologising for it constantly -- apologising for the lack of cool, the lack of answers, the lack of fakery, the lack of feeling like a completely together grown-up.

But every time Mum responds with kindness or simply by listening patiently (never rolling her eyes at me even when I want to roll them at myself), I'm reminded that she doesn't love me because I'm awesome, mostly because a) I never was that awesome, and b) even if I somehow worked out how to be awesome, I'd forget quickly. And though I am passionate about authenticity, I've realised that I want my realness to come in a more attractive package, which isn't really real at all.

The thing is, weakness is awkward and uncomfortable, embarrassing and messy. It isn't pretty, and it never seems to showcase us at our best. It can't be packaged up into neat little clearly-defined boxes to be pulled out at appropriate moments. "Oh, it's vulnerable time? We're swapping weakness stories? Boy, do I have a doozy for you!"

Weakness is inconvenient. It's annoying. It makes us lean on others -- but that's part of its beauty. None of us want to revel in our weaknesses, but we can, in one sense, embrace them. Weakness tells us we are human. It says we are broken. It reminds us that we need each other and we need a Saviour. Those who love us best know we aren't perfect and, in fact, they rarely expect us to be. Thanks Mum.

* * * * *

Conversations:

Mothercare -- it was lovely, wasn't it? :)

Meaghan -- ooh! D&M weekends! I love it! PS. "From the area!!" PPS. This.

Carla -- THIS MUST BE REMEDIED!

Rebecca Simon -- I agree on both counts! :)

Jess A -- you are absolutely adorable. Your comment made me grin exceedingly widely.

[lately] a meaghan weekend

Meaghan weekends are too far and few between in my world. It had been thirteen months since the last one, which means I was well overdue for a dose of this excellent lady, and this weekend definitely hit the spot (though it was all too short).

I had ideas about introducing Meaghan to every cool local discovery that we've stumbled across since she was last here and since about 75% of those have something to do with food, it's probably a good thing we only had three days. As it happened, we were able to grab a sort-of-breakfast one morning from Bittersweet (their locally-made pastries are amaaaazing) and a sort-of-lunch (apparently we don't have the greatest internal mealtime clocks) from my favourite bookstore-and-restaurant, Riverbend Books. We also had very excellent mocktails from Hog's Breath (their greatest virtue being that they were so pretty and they were delivered by the world's most quirky waiter, Sunny).

In true Queensland style, Meaghan got to experience Autumn, Summer, Spring, rain, storms, and sunshine in her three days here. She made my baby niece laugh uproariously and she was kindly amused by my little brother's random hyperactivity. Somehow, we picked the most random assortment of movies to watch together (can you say "my dead brother turned into a shooting star and guided me to the place where my girlfriend lay unconscious and potentially dying?") with the exception of a couple, among them Soul Surfer, which was heartbreaking and heartwarming. Also, we were kind of excited when we found the three Carey sisters represented in Coke bottles (win!) and only wish we could have found bottles with Carla & Meaghan on them, in order to complete the quintet of longtime pals. Next time, Coca Cola will be more forward thinking with their promotion, I'm sure.

Good friends are such treasures. More Meaghan weekends, please, God?

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Conversations:

Un -- indeed they do.

Samantha R -- I'll definitely have to check out your latest Project 52 work :).

Laura Elizabeth -- thank you! And yes, we definitely had fun.

Carla -- :D we missed you!

Meaghan -- WDHF! WAHF!