Please, meet Frankenwhale:

Before Lauren and James were married, I cruelly decreed that Thursday night was Sisters' Night, and James was forbidden to disturb the hallowed realms of femininity with his highly masculine nature on Thursday evenings. Those nights became fun ones for me, fun-but-not-quite-as-fun ones for Lauren, and pure torture for James.

Fast-forward to now. Lauren is old and married, and I am no longer allowed to wield the sword of elderly sister dictatorship over Thursday evenings. So the new move is to Sister Mornings, and we're just settling into a happy rhythm of them after the wedding excitement has died down. Usually it's turn about -- one week at her house and the next at mine.

Last Thursday, we met at the newlywed nest. Lauren was determined to get some essential sewing done and I... well I just had with me a pair of beloved grey corduroy jeans which, although dead, were not ready to be buried. I just couldn't let go yet.

So while Lauren embarked on some actual sensible sewing, I embarked on some freestyle sewing. It's been so long since I did any creative work with fabric that I was actually intimidated. What do I doooo? To make it less scary, I decided simply to play -- and I needed to keep it simple because all I had brought with me was the pair of jeans.

First, I just went at the jeans and cut out two pieces of back-to-back whale by eye. Then I scrounged some red ric-rac from Lauren and sewed it on for a mouth. It was at this point that my featureless little sea-faring mammalian friend became Frankenwhale -- mainly because of the slightly creepy nature of his new, zigzaggy grin.

I also stole a random and very cool button made mostly of thread, and attached it for the eye. Then I realised that all my enthusiastic freestyling had not incorporated a seam allowance for Frankie, so that if I placed him right sides together, machine-sewed, and turned it inside out, his tail would all but disappear within the seam allowance. I combatted that by hand-sewing with wrong sides together, leaving the seam visible and with raw edges out there for all the world to see. If Frankenwhale had a conscience, he'd be blushing.

Final touch: red-checked bow and Frankie's good to go! He is far from a sturdy child's toy or even a clever piece of art but it was so much fun simply to sit down with fabric and thread and buttons and just play. I recommend the activity to you.

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Conversations:

Mum -- COL! (like LOL, but with chuckling instead)

Katie -- thank you for understanding the significance of our art: all in honour of Toad.

Jordan -- mission accomplished!

Meaghan -- we're awesome, right? ;)

Carla -- *fist-pump* YESSSSS.

Julia -- you're welcome :D

Amanda -- a deserved tribute to a special amphibious friend.

Rebecca -- :)

The Trail of Carnage: an epic adventure

It was a bright and sunny day in south-east Queensland as my friend Meaghan and I set off to visit the newlyweds' cottage. Our day began, perhaps deceptively harmlessly, with promising signs of life: a some-kind-maybe-frilled-neck lizard posed majestically in the middle of the road.

When we saw this wallaby just hanging with his homies in a typical pose, we were lulled into a false sense of security. Perhaps this place was safer than we'd first anticipated.

The first sign that something was wrong appeared when we stumbled across this feather, no doubt plucked from a luckless chicken. We couldn't help but wonder at the poor chicken's fate.

Then we spotted this desolate piece of tree, no doubt yanked from an unsuspecting trunk. We turned our eyes away from the gore but...

It was too late. Our path was blocked by this undeniable image of DEATH. There was some debate about whether the corpse you see above is a dead glove or a dead turkey. Forensics teams are investigating. We, however, pressed on in our walk.

It was at this point -- when we saw the signs for the Forbidden Ground -- that we began to ask ourselves if we should continue. We ummed and aahed, but we all agreed: there was no turning back. And I should warn you that the following scenes may disturb some viewers. For there, blocking our path, was:

THIS.

The Trail of Carnage was complete, and the lonely, dehydrated carcass of the cane toad is an image burned indelibly on our minds. We were so struck by the tragic loss, the sheer waste, that we were driven to interpret and re-enact the scene in our own unique way:

RIP, Toadster.

PS, readers: This post contains 183% of your recommended daily nutritional intake of waffle.

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Conversations:

Samantha -- have fun on your camping adventure -- and please share pictures!

Rachael -- we did have an excellent time :D

Carla -- not just an accessory *wiggles eyebrows*

Rebecca -- I'll drink to that! *cheers*

Mitanika -- my breakfast was so good. Even better because I didn't have to cook it myself :)

Meaghan -- ah, the memories!

Weekend Journal XXII :: Meaghan and me, again

This weekend was squished full of relaxing, happy times!

The gorgeous Meaghan, who has been a precious friend for almost thirteen years (we met the first week of August 1997), flew up from Sydney for four days of chillin' like villains. There's nothing that can replace spending time with a friend who knows you inside out and with whom you don't have to be anything. *yay*

We shopped -- and tried on sunnies that we'd never buy.

We laughed through a strange contemporary remake of Pride & Prejudice.

We ate chocolate French toast -- along with other sugary substances.

We drove to the markets and found some seriously excellent bargains.

We visited the newlyweds!

And made up rubbish faux dictionary definitions for a game of Balderdash.

We may have salivated over this bread display...

And been unable to resist this cupcake.

We also smiled a fair bit --

And were amazed when our ridiculous Balderdash definitions...

...actually came true.

Plus, there was some lazing around.
(Okay, there was quite a lot of lazing around.)

It was excellent. Pretty sure you wish you were there. Oh, there was also a miniature bushwalk through a trail of carnage, but those pictures are still to come...

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Conversations:

Anonymous -- I bake goodly cos my mama taught me. Hell has nothing to do with it ;).

Rachael -- Paris berets beat Brisbane berets any day! Oh, and how can you not like Who? He's the best!

Ruth -- So glad you got the free Who link working! :D

Julia -- Can I be vice prez of our Fingerless Gloves and Berets Are Cool Society?

Samantha R -- :D

Staish -- Can I please have a real-life tour of your selection of vintage maps someday? It sounds amazing.

Mitanika -- OOOOOH! I wish I was breakfasting at New Farm that day, but the cafe I was in was bayside! You know, if you ever see 'me' again, you have my total and welcome permission to come up and say hi. That would be crazy funny -- although I guess that if it isn't me, it might feel a little awkward ;).

Nice things, some of them frivolous:

1) I was organising my room this morning and I re-discovered this little mushroom-top pinky red beret. I found it in a sale during the Summer-time and put it away for future use. The future is now.

2) My Topography is a blog I keep returning to, even though it's a personal blog and I have no actual connection to the writer outside of the fact that I stumbled across her words one day. But she writes so thoughtfully, so deeply, that I keep going back for visits. There is a hereness to her writing that pulls me in. Somehow she is able to see the story in her own life, to dissect her days and pull from them a thought or a moment or an inkling, and turn it into beautiful prose. More than that, she takes from each moment something else -- maybe her history, or her future, or a realisation -- and sucks all the richness from that one little moment. Well, this is how it feels to me, reading her words. I'm always inspired.

3) I am enchanted by the delightfulness that is the Surprise Ball. Andrea at Hula Seventy documents her opening of this cool cool cool thing -- basically a ball made with multicoloured strips of crepe paper. That's lovely enough in itself, but that's not all. Apparently little treasures are hidden throughout the ball so that, as you unwrap all the layers, Things Fall Out. Oh my. That is so cool. There's a video of someone opening one, which is fun, but it kind of hurt my feelings because it's fast-forwarded and it makes me uncomfortable to see gifts being unwrapped quickly. If you can handle that (and by which I mean if you aren't weird like me), you should watch it because it's like visually eavesdropping on someone else's Christmas.

4) Until today I had Absolutely No Idea that it is possible to watch all of seasons one and two of Doctor Who free (and LEGAL) through the Channel Nine website. There are heaps of other shows on offer, too. Amazing! (Now, to carefully monitor my downloads so I don't run out of internet!).

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Conversations:

Katie -- so very true!

Julia -- we can be a Fingerless Gloves Are Cool club :)

Samantha -- yes, I DO have the nicest friends! Ah yes, broken noses and 5am bedtimes: all shall be revealed!

Rachael -- my friend is very clever.

Simplythis -- now you make me want to join Ravelry even though I don't knit!

Awesome thing of the day #5

I really should be making a post about my weekend (celebrity sightings! breakfast at cafes! sleepover buddies! Hitchcock horror! broken noses! 5am bedtimes!) and my Monday (Toy Story 3 and happy times with friends) but instead I really just want to show you these amazing fingerless gloves that Ruth made for me.

They are so cool and they make my hands so happy! The only problem is that I don't want to take them off at all. Everything is much cosier and definitely more punk-artistic while I'm wearing them. Plus: I can type in these things!

Thank you, Ruth. Amazing.

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Conversations:

Julia -- thanks for the happy congrats!

Staish -- your ninja skilz are now known the web over! You are amazing.

Ruth -- :D Ninja!Friends and AmazingFingerlessGloveKnitting!Friends... I'm so spoilt.

The First Rose -- and even more funny in the living than in the telling!

Mothercarey -- we have to make Anastasia a little ninja costume, I think.

H.C.H. -- :D PS. Your initials look so elusive and mysterious.

Carla -- yes, you know she's real and not just a figment of my imagination!

Katie -- life is better when filled with stories :).

SuperStaish!

Have you ever thought how amazingly cool it would be to be thrown into a moment of intense desperation and then suddenly experience the remarkable transformation of your friend from an ordinary person into a superhero? No? Me either. But today I experienced it, all the same.

The story goes like this: my excellent, seemingly normal (though, admittedly more fun than most normal people) friend Anastasia pulled into my driveway to pick me up for a drive. I ran to the door, gathering bits of periphery as I went, all the while reminding myself that, since I wouldn't have my own car keys, I would need to take a house key. While I locked my front door, I reminded myself I would need to take a house key. While I pulled the door shut, I reminded myself I would need to take a house key. And even as that bolt was falling into place behind me, I realised I had not taken out the house key. Quite possibly, I have never felt stupider. Every single door in the house -- even including the outside gates -- was locked.

We took our little road trip and while Anastasia was being a grown up and attending a meeting, I was being a child and called my sister to see if she had a key to my house (she didn't), my mother to see if she could offer any clues, and a locksmith to see how much it'd cost to help me get back in.

$120.

I contemplated all of those times I had driven carefully on the road just to avoid getting a nasty fine which would chew up lots of money. Yes, I had somehow managed to bring a similar nasty monetary penalty upon myself without even having my foot on an accelerator.

Fastforward to our drive home. In a final effort to not pay a lot of money, the plan was to attempt to get to a ladder and then maybe my sister and brother-in-law could drive over with a screwdriver and we could break in through a window. This was the plan. But suddenly, just like in the old Batman and Robin episodes when a starburst would appear across the screen with the words KA-POW across it, Normal Anastasia miraculously transformed into Ninja!Anastasia. It was a marvel.

First, she jumped the (very tall) back fence and got into my backyard, navigating several palm trees in the process. Then she found a ladder and used it climb over the front fence and land on our garbage bins. We got the ladder over together and propped it against the sloping roof at the front of the house. Ninja!Anastasia scooted up there like nobody's business, and I eventually followed her up, wimping and wincing at every creak of the roof. On the second storey of the house, a glass window was wound out at a fine angle -- ten inches open at its widest point.

This did not deter my ninjatastic friend. She somehow got her hands in there and was able to knock the screen out. As if this was not amazing enough, she then slipped through the opening at the bottom of the window (remember I told you it was ten inches, right?) and was inside, flashing her ninja smile. Ninja!Anastasia saved the day!

Now I know how MJ felt after she had discovered who Peter Parker really was.

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Conversations:

Bethany -- Yay, Tain! :D

Samantha -- yes, Tain's adopted :)

Amanda -- DEFINITELY. He's like our own personal enterTAINer.

Mothercarey -- dorkiness runs in our family, biological and otherwise.

Staish -- stop drooling on your desk, already. GROSS.

TC:

On this day, eleven years ago, my mother took a phone call which told us that this dude (then a chubby blonde baby with no teeth and the world's fattest, stumpiest little hands) was to be a part of our family. Six days later, we brought him home -- for keeps.

Our family is about a million percent cooler and funnier as a result. Thanks for making us laugh every day, Tain, you big dork.

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Conversations:

Abi -- so glad you enjoyed them! Much love to you. x

Samantha -- :D

Amanda -- YES! Mums definitely give the best advice!

A handful more:

Being distracted by bridesmaiding, I only got a few very poor photographs of Lauren and James on their wedding (these two were behind-the-scenes ones, stolen when the photographer was otherwise engaged). But you can see some of the professional pictures here.

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Conversations:

Katie -- I'm clinging to that motivation myself, today. I've set the task of writing a ficlet or even just doing some free-writing before the evening is out. Why am I so scared??

Ruth -- I like the sound of stomping out that paralysing perfectionism. It sounds like an excellent name for a club dedicated to the cause: the Perfection Paralysis Stomping Society.